If you're worried about your weight during sex, you're far, far from alone. In Britain alone, a whopping 50 percent of women say that weight woes keep them from really enjoying sex. They worry about what the man thinks and they feel bad about their bodies, and that leads to little sexual enjoyment.
I get it. I really do. Luckily I feel long past those worries with my own spouse, but weight issues definitely do cross my mind during sex and take me out of the moment. I could easily give the whole song and dance about don't worry, he likes you just the way you are and blah, blah. But the fact is, he probably knows you have extra flab. He probably sees it. Yes, he may even think you're "fat." The difference is, unlike you, he doesn't care.
The issue here, as with so many things, is that the issue at hand isn't the actual issue. No, he probably doesn't think you look like Pamela Anderson in the sack (he isn't blind, after all), but he probably doesn't care. The issue is that those worries make you bad in bed.
Fat or thin, short or tall, you can loosen up and have fun in the sack. If you're giving your husband oodles of pleasure and seem to be enjoying yourself, too, the last thing he cares about is that you don't look like Cindy Crawford. He knows what you look like and he still wants to boink you!
Paula Rosdol, a 52-year-old woman who is a size 14, told the Daily Mail:
Just like them, I feel a huge pressure to look a certain way; that I can only enjoy sex if I look like a total goddess. I know I should be losing myself in the heat of the moment but, instead, I’m lying on my back, desperately trying to hold in my tummy -- as if it actually matters.
I've heard men say that unattractive women are better in bed because they had to be. Harsh but probably true. But being good in bed has more legs than just being hot, too. Let's remember that our high and tight bodies only last as long as the time before our first pregnancy. By the time you're over 35, whether you have had babies or not, things start to sag. You have to work five times as hard to get the same results.
So, let's put our focus on other things. Not just on bringing him pleasure, but on bringing ourselves pleasure. Who cares if we look like a bikini model if we have more orgasms than a porn star. If we want to enjoy sex into our 60s, we're going to have to let go of the physical and understand that sexual pleasure has nothing to do with toned abs.
So, take the time to go to the gym and work those abs and keep your body in the best shape possible for YOU, but we should also take the time to masturbate and explore what really brings us maximum pleasure. If we wait until we're "hot enough" to enjoy sex, we may never enjoy it.
Do you worry about weight in bed?
Image via Mom Smackley/Flickr