Cover your ears Mom, I've got something to confess. Back in college (as in totally not last week) I'd call my friends after having three too many beers and leave some funny drunk voice mails. I'd pretend to be everything from an irate Chinese food delivery guy who's really pissed you're not picking up after ordering enough scallion pancakes to feed lower campus, to Oprah Winfrey claiming she just woke up on the roof naked and needs your help down, stat.
Now, I never left any drunkmails for guys. I didn't know any! (Shutting window into my lonely soul now lest I scare you.) But I knew girls who got enough liquid courage in them to call boys they'd just met and leave rambling, you know, uh, i don't know, but you know what I mean, voice mails that should never, ever have happened.
Dominic, a young woman with a taste for the drink and a taste for the phone, is one of those girls who picked up her cell when she shouldn't have. And there's audio and visual evidence. (Shudders.)
Ryan, the object of her affection never got her message, though. She called the wrong number, and apparently got a hold of some really creative guy who knows how to make the most fascinating thing I've ever seen to come out of drunk dial. Please watch.
Watch for a few reasons. One, if you're not single, you'll be so uplifted that you're not in the dating scene that consists of dimly lit bars, tube tops, and drunk dials. Two, if you are single, it will serve almost as a PSA about what to not do when you've been over-served. Do not drive, and do not, do not pick up the phone.
I can't decide what my favorite part of the message is. His cute shirts? Their shared interest in yo-yos? Hmm, no. I think it's got to be the part where we learn that Ryan left the bar because he got indigestion. Classy move, bro. You know he had to get away from Dominic and pulled the old heartburn card. Ooh! And I also love Love LOVE the part where she starts spelling. You know in her head, she's all, "I'm so cute! I'm so lovable!"
Now she's all, "Oh shit. Why did I say where I worked." Yep, she literally spelled out that she works at eBay. It's too bad her name isn't Katie or Jenny or Lindsay -- there's got to be a least four of each working at the company. But how many Dominic's could there be? Never mind! I don't wanna know.
Love will make us do crazy things, and so will fifteen Miller Lite drafts. It's important to know the difference. Regretsville, population 1, is not a fun place to live, is it Dominic. And Ryan? Buy some Tums. And guy who made the video? Well done, sir.
Have you ever left or received a drunk voicemail?
Photo via YouTube