Step Out on Jesus & You Might Find a Husband


Interfaith relationships
For some of us, the chances of being married while our eggs are still market fresh are sketchy. That’s established. But as someone who spends, oh I don’t know, three quarters of my time in the church, I know how much more limited the search for love is when it comes to finding available men in God’s house.

It’s a ghost town, ladies. If you’re not saved already, don’t get right with Jesus thinking thou shall stumble upon a husband at the altar (seriously, how handy would that be?). Maybe if you’re Lutheran or Catholic, but I know the Methodist dating scene is blowing tumbleweeds and growing cacti.

With male to female ratios higher in the produce aisle than they are at Sunday service and our spirits balking at the bridesmaid dresses accumulating in our closets, some of us are taking our pre-matrimonial faith walk outside the church — right into the mosque, temple, and synagogue. Yep, giving a guy from another religion some play. Gasp.

Interfaith relationships aren’t anything new, but they do present a new dating option for ladies tired of trying to call first dibs on their congregation’s newest male members. More Christian women (since that’s the only group I can really speak about on a firsthand basis) are rewriting The Great American Love Story by building meaningful partnerships with guys from other religions. Not that the love they’ve found in their new beaus in any way compromises their longstanding love for Jesus. But if a single lady meets a man who possesses the qualities she’s been praying for in a mate, should she turn him away because he doesn’t practice the same religion that she does?

Ummm, survey says don’t be so hasty.

Before you conservative Bible beaters pull out the big guns to oppose an interfaith union and tab on over to 2 Corinthians 6:14, the Biblical scripture that’s been the slogan for why believers should refrain from hooking up with non-believers, hear me out.

Religion informs our lives, decisions, and beliefs, but it shouldn’t disable a person from seeing greatness — and great mating potential — in someone who doesn’t bow to a God of the same name. Shoot, Allah, God, Yahweh. As long as you’re celebrating and praising a God, seems like you have common ground to build on. What I think is most important is that y’all agree on basic values, like how you plan to raise children and spend money and run a household. How you spend your Sundays or Saturdays is really just geography.

And besides, just because someone technically shares the same faith as you does not mean they’re on the same page spiritually. You can have two Muslims in the same mosque with agendas and commitments that vary as widely as if they were a Pentecostal and a Buddhist.

That’s not to say it’ll be easy. Like dating outside of your race, an interfaith relationship can be a minefield of challenges and — let’s call it what it is — drama, especially if the two parties involved let religious overzealousness, prying families, rude insensitivity, and the ever-present opinions of others mar what could otherwise be a good love connection.

But because the dating pool for some ladies who dare to seek straight, single, healthy, employed, addiction-free, baggage-less dudes isn’t getting any bigger, we might just need to branch out a little to find a man who’s going to love and appreciate us like we deserve to be loved and appreciated, fellow solo gals. So whether he’s capped with a yarmulke, sporting a kufi, or toting a Bible, I say we give him a shot and let God be the ultimate matchmaker.

Have you ever dated someone who didn’t subscribe to the same religion? Would you do it again?

Image via zeevveez/Flickr

dating, dating mom, love, marriage, single moms


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Jespren Jespren

Wow, this is sad in so many ways. You want to claim Christianity but then tell the 'Bible thumpers' not to bother with any of that Christian stuff like the Bible. Sure, believing in all the God stuff is great, as long as you can still have full moral rights to decide yourself what's right and wrong. That's not Christianity. In Christianity you follow what God says is right and wrong. Heaven forbid your social life might suffer if you have to pass on a really hot guy because he doesn't believe in Jesus Christ as his risen Lord and Savior! And I don't know what kind of church you belong to...actually given your viewpoint I more or less DO, but either way, all the Bible-believing churches I've ever gone to have almost equal male/female ratios, and there have been multiple marriages in my various congregations over the years. A Christian will never find anything good outside of God, and intentionally disobeying God is 'outside of God'.

Stephanie Cramer

I'm engaged to a Muslim man, and I can honestly say, I have never been more happy. Our relationship is probably a lot more solid than most because we've taken the time to get to know each other and to learn about what each of us expects from the other and from the future. 

nonmember avatar Anon

In my life, I've "seriously" dated 2 men. An atheist from China and a fundamentalist Hindu from India. I think the atheism would not have been a big problem (he went on to marry a Christian and sends their kids to Christian schools, even). The other dude - and we got much more serious - we really tried to find common ground, but it just wasn't possible. Personally I was raised as a Christian and that's how I raise my kids for now, because it's what I'm familiar with. But I believe God is not limited to Christianity and really don't find Him incompatible with any of the major world religions (and I've studied all of them in considerable depth). But just because I can see it that way doesn't mean my guy can. So we parted ways and I'm sure that was the best choice. ... BTW, in my church I'm impressed by how many young guys attend. Of course I'm old enough to be their mother, so . . . .

Jess Hurst

Jespren said "A Christian will never find anything good outside of God."

What a dismal thought! You don't think there's anything else good in the world? I have a friend who's 25 and has never had a serious relationship because he refuses to date anyone who isn't a Christian, non-smoker, non-drinker, and is *also* compatible with him personality-wise. Standards are good to have, but be realistic about what the people around you have to offer. If you really think anyone who isn't a Christian has nothing good to offer, you are missing out on a lot of friendships, just like my friend is missing out on love.

Stephen Dedalus

So, in other words, just some of the Bible is to be followed. We can leave the inconvenient parts out?

Daniella Ivette Mendoza

Religion's not relevant to me. If I love someone, I don't care which "God" does he worship (I do have a liking for Jewish guys, tho. )

And Christians (as in FUNDIES) should reeeeally get off their high horses. There's plenty of goodness outside religion. There's love, work, fun, family, success, and soooo much more. Religion is an element of life, not its sole component.

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