World Penis Size Map Is Hard News to Swallow

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penis siz map
Worldwide Penis Size Map
Man oh man, this is really bad news, guys. Based on the Worldwide Penis Size Map, we're coming up a little short here in the United States. That's right. The US of A and all its gloriousness is pretty far up there on the penis size chart. In fact, we're #98 out of 112 countries. And sorry, fellows, in this case, the bigger the number on the chart, the smaller the d*cks.

This sure explains a lot about Americans though.

This new chart clears up all my questions about all the big giant trucks and ridiculously enormous houses. It might also explain our love of gun racks, Sylvester Stallone, and the Super Bowl (whatcha gonna fill that big bowl with, huh?). And this really helps me understand Big Macs and Super Sizing and Big Gulps and especially that monstrous SUPER Big Gulp. You know what they say, right?

Of course, it also might explain why we're in three wars right now. To our mere 5.1 American inches, Iraq has 5.7 inches, Afghanistan has 5.3 inches, and Libya has 5.4 inches. You can sorta see why we felt the need to get out the big bombs.

Check out the entire world map of penises below.

What do you think? Will you be moving (or moving your man) to the Congo (7.1 inches!!!) anytime soon?

 

Image via TargetMap

 

 

sex ed, military

344 Comments

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DebaLa DebaLa

Ahh... France and Italy are 'green.' I knew their super-amorous reputations had to be from more than their lovely flirty accents. ; )

Jespren Jespren

I can't follow the link, so I don't know if this is mentioned...but I wonder if this is flaccid or erect size? Because in hot climates, the flaccid penis extends more to help cool the body, so the difference between flaccid and erect can be minimum. But in cooler climates the flaccid penis remains more withdrawn, and thus is much smaller and leads to a more pronounced difference. In other words...if this study was on flaccid penis sizes...it's not very accurate of 'sexual' size.

Knitt... KnittinMama

LMAO Such a serious debate! How many of these big dicks actually take the time to learn how to use it? Beyond in and out that is.

Pbutt... Pbuttercup0625

(Okay this is going to sound slutty, but whatever) I have found that heavier men do in fact have smaller penises, two of the smallest penises I have ever experienced were from larger men.  That being said, height has an effect on the size.  Most men are proportionate.  A guy who is 6'8" is packing (trust me I know) and someone who is around 5'5" not so much.  Every man is different, and I can honestly say that larger isn't always better.  Its more like finding a good fit for you. (Okay end of slut talk lol)

CoolR... CoolRelax

Don't know about that one, Pbuttercup - the biggest I've ever seen was on a guy was about 5'7.  It was enormous, lol - but he was the laziest lay ever on the planet.  Kinda like, "Just bask in the glow of my goldenrod" attitude.  


But...5 inches or so is AVERAGE?!?!  That's ridiculous!  I only encountered one guy that was about that length, and I pretty much clowned him to my girlfriends for having a "button mushroom".  Maybe the hype about the brothas is true - average I've seen is about 7-9 in.  I've never been with a white guy, but if I did I'd make sure he was Italian or French, lol. 

Traci... Traci_Momof2

I don't doubt that circumcision is at least part of the problem with US men being on the smaller end of the scale.  Just by removing the foreskin, you remove some length because the foreskin will cover over and extend beyond the glans just a bit.  Also, during circumcision, the tethering tissue that the natural penis has for protection will get cut away, thus causing the penis to withdraw more into the body on a permanent basis.


Luckily for today's babies, the circumcision rate is dropping drastically - but think about it, today's adult males were born into a time when circumcision was routine and hospitals just did it without consent of the parents.  So a very large percentage of our adult men were circumcised at birth, therefore making the penis seem smaller than if it was just simply left alone.

briar... briarraindancer

Circumcision is unlikely to have any effect on the data here, considering that most of the green countries in Africa routinely practice circ. Try again.


As for the rest of this... my head hurts now.

2love 2love

LOL that's actually pretty interesting...and would the size of the rods in the congo be due to the fact that hardly anyone wears pants ;)

Aislynn Ribbe Locklear

My husband is Caucasian American, 5'8", circumsized, and, according to this study, far above average. My poker (or rather his ;) is out of this fire.

Terri Parbs

It's all the toxins in our food. If you don't believe me, check this out: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1525/is_n1_v80/ai_16111815/

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