World Penis Size Map Is Hard News to Swallow


penis siz map
Worldwide Penis Size Map
Man oh man, this is really bad news, guys. Based on the Worldwide Penis Size Map, we're coming up a little short here in the United States. That's right. The US of A and all its gloriousness is pretty far up there on the penis size chart. In fact, we're #98 out of 112 countries. And sorry, fellows, in this case, the bigger the number on the chart, the smaller the d*cks.

This sure explains a lot about Americans though.

This new chart clears up all my questions about all the big giant trucks and ridiculously enormous houses. It might also explain our love of gun racks, Sylvester Stallone, and the Super Bowl (whatcha gonna fill that big bowl with, huh?). And this really helps me understand Big Macs and Super Sizing and Big Gulps and especially that monstrous SUPER Big Gulp. You know what they say, right?

Of course, it also might explain why we're in three wars right now. To our mere 5.1 American inches, Iraq has 5.7 inches, Afghanistan has 5.3 inches, and Libya has 5.4 inches. You can sorta see why we felt the need to get out the big bombs.

Check out the entire world map of penises below.

What do you think? Will you be moving (or moving your man) to the Congo (7.1 inches!!!) anytime soon?


Image via TargetMap



sex ed, military


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Histo... HistoryMamaX3

Moving your man to a new location isn't going to increase the size of his penis. *sigh*

Jenni... JenniferDawyn

I'm in Canada.  I luck out!

What an insane study.

And HistoryMama, I also heart your comment.  (We need to be able to 'like' comments on here.)

xavie... xavierlogan09

if a man gains weight he loses half an inch of penis for every so many pounds. so this make since considerating how overweight america is. american men have small penises. lmao

Madel... MadelynMc

It's the diet, for sure.

butte... butterflymkm

This makes since, people in Congo are usually dark skinned people and black guys usually have bigger umm assets. This made me lol

aj_ba... aj_baby_06

Not surprised considering this country's obsession with cutting off up to half of the skin on the penis at birth.

nonmember avatar ele4phant

Ah statistics, they can be manipulated to say just about anything. How on earth did they get this data? Was it from a sample? Was that sample actually representative of ALL men in each nation? Did they ask men to self report their size? If so, how could they account for men being a little generous with the measuring tape? How did they calculate the average? More importantly, what's the deviation from the mean? If men from Congo have an average of 7.1, but a standard deviation of plus or minus 2 inches, then quite a bit of Congolese men would be the same size as the average American man.

Ah well, it was an interesting map, but ultimately, I've found that size doesn't matter.

Domon... DomoniqueWS

the chart is in centimeters... lol so the red is the small pepees and the green is large.  if you click on the link you can see the unit conversion

idfri... idfriendly

I wondered how long it would be before someone brought up circumcision. Doctors cut off  "up to half of the skin of the penis at birth" eh? Exaggerate much? I'm not even sure Americans being overweight has anything to do with it. Carrying around extra weight gives the appearance of a smaller penis but doesn't really change its size. Men who lose weight think their penis grew because the little pouch of fat above their groin has been reduced and more of the penis shaft is visible. If you look at the map, Asian and Indian men have the smallest penises on average. Unless they have an obesity epidemic in India and China, I don't think the "Americans are overweight, thus smaller penises" theory holds up. The countries that compare in penis size to America are Eurasian and Caucasian countries, suggesting a genetic component.

1-10 of 344 comments 12345 Last