Usually we assume that made up girlfriends are the stuff of junior high dances and middle school humiliations. We see them on television shows like the The Brady Bunch, but rarely do we assume that in real life, actual adult people would do something so incredibly lame.
Turns out, we were all assuming wrong. Real life people do make up significant others, and when they're found out, they usually just act like giant losers. Peter Coffin is a wannabe comedian who is, sadly, just not very funny. He puts his stuff on Twitter and YouTube and kind of makes a fool of himself. Of course, if you think Kim Kardashian butt jokes are HILARIOUS, then maybe you would like him.
A few weeks ago, he got into a Twitter fight with Xiaxue, a writer and blogger from Singapore who happens to have a love of plastic surgery, and boy did she get him back. For 8 months he had been carrying on in a Twitter relationship with "Kimi Kobayashi," a drop-dead gorgeous Japanese girl who seemed to have exactly the same sense of humor as Coffin. This is because she was Coffin.
Lame-o city, dude! They had conversations back and forth. He made racist jokes about Asians, which at the time seemed OK because she was Asian. Well guess what? They aren't so funny when you've been talking to yourself all this time. This gives new meaning to the phrase, "he's having a meaningful relationship with his right hand."
It's one thing if you're Jan Brady and you're 10. But this guy is about THIRTY and it isn't really all that cool anymore. Come to think of it, it may never have been cool to begin with. You really have to read the whole story on the blog to believe it.
It does bring up an interesting question, though: Does social media make us lie about our relationship status? There is a lot of pressure to be happily coupled on Facebook and on Twitter. It isn't just to avoid being hit on (though that is part of it), but there is a sadness and an envy that can pervade online interactions when you see so many happy couples and you're single.
This is no joke. Facebook app developers have invented the new "cloud girlfriend" who will post sweet nothings on your Facebook page and make you look really hot. Maybe it will make some ex-girlfriend jealous, but in the end, you just look pathetic if you need such a thing.
Technology and social interaction via networking sites may make it possible to create the lives we want for ourselves, but do we really want to be living fake lives?
I think not.
Do you find this as bizarre as I do?
Image via YouTube