Kate Gosselin Has 36 Candles, One Wish

Nicole Fabian-Weber
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kate gosselinOh, Kate Gosselin, where have you been? It seems like it's been months since everybody's favorite attention-starved mother has been on our radar. Were you taking some time to relax with your eight kids, no cameras or reporters in sight? Nah, that doesn't sound like you. Were you going back to school to renew your nurse's license, like you mentioned so many times on Jon and Kate Plus 8? Doubt it. I know! You've been out celebrating your birthday and looking for a new man! That sounds more like it. 

Kate Gosselin, professional yeller and dancer extraordinaire, turns 36 today, so, I guess (deadpan), "Happy Birthday, Kate. Yay." She's probably taking it easy today since she celebrated last week at a swanky party in New York City (just some close friends and a camera crew).

She wasn't just celebrating her birthday, though. Kate was out looking for love. And I hate to admit this -- she looked damn good doing it. (Um, hello, see that picture?) But who will actually date her?

Here's the thing: How can anyone actually date Kate Gosselin? Don't we all feel like we've been married to her for five years already? I feel like I could totally brush my teeth next to her at bedtime and not feel uncomfortable. That's how well I know her.

Sure, I (and most women) probably know more about her than most men, but if there's anyone in the United States who can't identify Kate in a lineup, I want to meet them. And shake their hand.

Kate has not let one minute of her life go undocumented. We've seen her in sweats, we've seen her yelling at Jon, we've seen her screaming at her kids. We've actually all seen her in her "awkward hair phase" in real time. Not just in photos that we can look at with her and then poke fun. It's too much. Where's the mystique?

So, how is Kate ever going to get a man? Aside from the fact that there can't possibly be a "honeymoon phase" with the woman, she has eight kids. And she's kind of mean. Someone has to be really understanding (and flat-out odd) to want to date this bag o' nuts.

There is a small -- small -- part of me who feels bad for Kate, though. Yes, she made her own bed, but she probably thought she would be with Jon forever at some point or another, right? I doubt she was like, "I'm going to get married, have eight kids, do a reality show, show the worst possible side of myself, get divorced, then see what's up on the dating scene again." If she wants a partner to share her life with, it kind of sucks for her, because I can't imagine someone would be willing to get on board with all that baggage.

That said, I go back to my original comments. She did this to herself and she seems like a mean, mean lady. So, sorry, Kate. Best of luck to you, sister.

What do you think about Kate trying to date? Would you date her?

 

Image via Splash News

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