Whenever my phone rings at 3 in the morning, it makes me nervous. And for good reason, since no conversation I’ve ever had at any wee hour has ever been good news (except for the occasional booty call from my then-boo back in college, but that’s a different kind of walk down memory lane).
The last time it happened, it wasn’t either.
“Hello?” I whispered in one of those cantankerous, it’s-3-am-so-don’t-expect-light-hearted-chit-chat voices.
No one said anything on the other end, but I could make out one distinctive noise: heaving and sobbing. I know that sound all too well. I waited for a minute, then gently pressed with another “hello” before my friend finally managed words to share the worst news that a woman could get besides finding out that Real Housewives was going off the air: her fiancé was cheating. And she found the proof herself.
A few days later, she sent out a text message to their 32-person bridal party to 1) update them on the cancellation of the wedding and 2) inform them that he had a nasty sexually transmitted disease, a 4-inch penis, and frequent bouts with erectile dysfunction.
Ouch.
We all cry when some rancid, cheating man breaks our hearts. But some of us can cry and devise a sinister plot against said dirtbags at the same time. In the heat of being scorned, it's a natural reaction to want to get back at the loser who did you wrong. I'd like to write some words of caution about the legal ramifications of being spiteful, some thoughtful perspective on “being the bigger person” and not stooping to a level of pettiness, some inspirational words of encouragement full of clichés like “you can do better” and “someone more deserving will come along.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heck with all that. Sometimes it just feels good to get revenge and worry about the consequences later. Like this:
And this:
Definitely this:
And of course, this:
I guess we have lying, low-down men to thank for a few things. Without unfaithful jackasses, Mary J. Blige and Keyshia Cole wouldn’t have much to sing about, we wouldn't go crazy over the scene when Bernadine sets her doggish hubby's car ablaze in Waiting to Exhale, “Before He Cheats” wouldn’t be such a classic man-hating song, and we wouldn’t be able to shock the hell out of folks with the crazy, creative handiwork of a woman scorned.
If you caught your man cheating, would you take the high road or would you take a stab at revenge?
All images via denharsh/Flickr
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Comments 62
I think I might do the text message, like your friend did, but I'm not sure about the others!
I agree the Billboard is GENIUS...I wouldn't take the high road that's for sure..he'd be getting some kind of pay back..probably not as extreme as these women did..but he'd get something that's for sure.
yep revenge would come to my mind but I'd try with all my might to resist the temptation because in the end I'd wind up looking just as stupid as he would.
I like the billboard and the "Lost Dog" sign. I tend to go more for the creative, as opposed to the distructive. Distructive is just spiteful and hateful, and suggests that he really hurt you. Creative has flair and says, "I'm better without you", even if he may have destroyed you, HE doesn't need to know that.
I found out my ex-fiance began dating another woman 3 weeks before we officially broke up. Granted, by the time he began seeing her our relationship had run its course but not only was he too chicken to be the one to initiate the break up, he probably began dating the woman hoping to get caught by me so I would know it was over. I was horrified when I found out but I decided to take the high road although a good friend encouraged me to do something nasty to him. A few years later, we respectively married other people but I later found out he had marital problems right from the beginning and had to see a court appointed marital counsellor. I married up so I guess I got my revenge after all.
I wonder if it's the same steve in the flyer and billboard? Also who has that many pickaxes lying around?
I joke that I would shank a bitch. I might not do that but I would sure as hell find some sort of sweet revenge. And not just on the guy, I would make darn sure the girl knew she messed with the wrong person.