Ladies, if you thought the Virgin/Whore Complex had seen better days, think again. Rich Santos, a blogger for Marie Claire -- home of the infamous "fatties" controversy last November -- has reignited the fire with a piece about why he and apparently ALL men prefer innocent girls over "bad" girls.
First, let's just let the idea percolate that one man claims to speak for all men. In his bio, Santos proudly hails the C-average he managed to maintain at the University of Delaware. He graduated with a 2.3 GPA. Why does this matter? It doesn't really. But it does point to an important point about Santos: clearly his grasp of intellectual concepts is average at best, which is why his love of "innocent girls" makes sense.
His definition of "innocent" and "bad" is about as archaic as the rest of his piece, too. For our purposes, let's suffice it to say that innocent is young, virginal, and bookish, and bad is anyone who has any confidence or sexual desires, i.e., the grand majority of the female population.
I am no "bad girl" sexually, but I am pretty confident and I know what I want. I was never willing to settle for an average little man like Rich Santos, which I am fairly certain puts me squarely in the "bad girl" category just by virtue of having a smidgen of self-worth.
Let's read between the lines and consider the reasons he hearts the innocent ladies:
- He says, "Corrupting innocence is fun." What he should say is "I am extremely insecure about the size of my package and I know an 'innocent woman' will have no idea what to expect and, therefore, be impressed by me."
- He says, "We don't take bad girls seriously." What he should say is "I am a bitter little turd who turns off most of the women I meet so I prey on weaker girls who may not get noticed by more confident, successful men."
- He says, "'Bad Girls' are intimidating." On this one, he is being honest. They are intimidating to men who are average at best.
- He says, "'Bad Girls' seem promiscuous." Well, fine. A promiscuous woman is not for him. We get that. But confidence and a sense of adventure and sophistication don't automatically make a person promiscuous. Clearly he's so insecure, he's eliminating a whole section of the population because he's making connections that don't actually exist.
- He says, "'Bad Girls' are less mysterious." Wow is he wrong here. There is just nothing else to say about that. Bad girls have the best secrets of all.
- Finally, he says, "Guys have control issues." Really, Rich? I'm pretty sure that is just you.
I'm fairly certain this guy will never have sex again.
Can't you taste the smarm?
Image via lisadragon/Flickr