In the '50s, they had cheesy drive-in, 3-D movies like Creature From the Black Lagoon. Now, Europeans are going to get similar, sexier thrills in the comfort of their own home -- thanks to 3-D porn! Yup, it seems that there's demand for big giant male genitalia in 3-D. Strap on the goggles and see ... Attack of the Giant Worm! The Werewolf Beast Man! Enormous Alien Balls From Outer Space!
Come on now, would that really get you hot and bothered? I didn't think so. But Penthouse in Europe must be sure enough that some people will be into it. They're introducing a 3-D porn channel that will broadcast all original content from 11 p.m. to 5 a.m. every day. Viewers can get both softcore and hardcore fixes.
Oh, good, so does that mean it won't just be porn for the guys?
You know, because porn that's man-made for men is just different than porn that's female-made for women. The hardcore stuff guys like is just so, in-your-face, literally. It's no surprise that's why they're clammoring for 3-D porn! You know your husband would be fascinated for, say, an hour, with humungous fake 3-D breasts. Okay, fine, great, that's obvious. But, are we women really going to see that as a major turn-on?
I'm not saying I'm not a fan of porn. Like Cameron Diaz, I dig it. But if the 3-D stuff is going to be the kind of "gonzo" porn (cheesy music, amateur-ish plotlines, tight shots of butts and genitalia) that lots of men go for, ugh, I'll pass, because that is sure to look like a pulpy horror film from the 1950s. On the other hand, if Penthouse knows what's good for 'em, there will be content that appeals to the ladies. You ask what kind of porn might that be?
Erika Lust, the author of X: A Woman's Guide to Good Porn, recently discussed the subject with Campus Progress:
For a female audience, there needs to be female characters to identify with that realistically are driven by desires and wishes that real women have. It's more balanced; it's like objectifying and being objectified: giving and taking. Like it is in sex: you give pleasure, and you get your share.
Sounds hot to me! But, again, not sure if the 3-D aspect would really add anything to the female experience of even good, hot, lady-approved porn. It just seems like something that would be cool for a couple of minutes and then, ehhhh. But, I'll admit, I've never really been much of a 3-D fan. I don't need to consume my entertainment while wearing special glasses. I'd rather just watch it without a lot of set-up ... or have the experience itself with my guy. After all, isn't the best 3-D porn called ... SEX?!
Are you intrigued by 3-D porn?
Image via Amazon.com