The Best & Worst Professions to Marry

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The word on the (Canadian) street is that certain women are going after lawyers. These "lawyer groupies" (or "slam bags") as some so eloquently call them are purposely chasing after lawyers in the hope that they can bag themselves a professional guy with plenty of money. I say, in your dreams dude.

Lawyers are among some of the worst possible men to marry. Sure, they usually make a decent living (if they can find a job in this economy), but the stress and the time it takes to be a lawyer are usually not conducive to the best possible family time. With two parents who are lawyers, countless friends who are in the profession, and at least one good friend who was called home from his honeymoon to service a client, I speak from experience. Stay away from the lawyers if you can, ladies!

But what are the best professions to date/marry? My highly unscientific research reveals the following:

Best professions to marry:

  • Engineer: I am a little partial to this having married a Chemical Engineer/Scientist myself, but it's a great profession in that it has very high pay for relatively low(ish) hours (compared to doctors or lawyers) and is usually in high demand.
  • Teacher: A man who loves children is never a bad thing. This profession screams passion for education and patience with children. Sure, the pay is low, but he will probably get a good pension, have decently flexible hours, and get summers off.
  • Firefighter: Seriously, what is sexier than a man who risks life and limb to save others? Yes, it can be unsafe and that is scary, but you're guaranteed good sex for life and a whole lot of cache. Plus, I am pretty sure it's written in the constitution that all firemen must be smokin' hot (ha!).
  • College Professor: Maybe it's living in Boston that makes me partial to all things higher ed, but as difficult as the jobs are to come by and annoying as the tenure process is, college professors are still extremely sexy. They are following their passion most of the time, writing books, and there is always the possibility of sabbatical to take your family to far-flung locations while he does his research. Most excellent!
  • Plumber: Who doesn't want someone who can actually do something useful in the house? 'Nuff said.

Worst professions to marry:

  • Psychiatrist: Do you like to be constantly psychoanalyzed, told you have such and such disease, and belittled? If so, by all means, marry a shrink. Otherwise stay far, far away. I have often heard that shrinks have the most messed up families of anyone ... 
  • Surgeons: Gone are the days where doctors made the big bucks. Between malpractice insurance, student debt, and the general changing of the medical system, most doctors aren't making nearly enough to make up for the personal sacrifice and constant on-call times. There is a reason why so many surgeon marriages end.
  • Lawyer: Having grown up in a two-lawyer home, I'm pretty sure this is true, unless you find constant working and stress to be an aphrodisiac.
  • Pro athlete: Sure the money is nice, but honey, he is almost definitely sleeping with somebody else. Sad but true.
  • Accountants: According to a friend who is married to one: "(He) works long hours, frequently fails to use all of his vacation time until the last minute, travels frequently to audit godforsaken locations in Kansas, Oklahoma, Iowa, and the like. Also no one in the accounting department is permitted to take any vacation time the entire month of June because of financial calendars." Yikes!

What does your husband do? Are you happy with it?

 

Image via Banalities/Flickr

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