Cosmo, We Want the Smut Back!

Emily Abbate

lipstick kissThere's nothing that says I love you more than a good, passionate kiss, right? Cosmopolitan, the rulebreaking queen of all that is saucy sexiness in this world, agrees. The mag came up with a list of the best places to kiss your hunny throughout all 50 states.

Expecting some vaaa vaaa voom? It's Cosmo after all! Well, don't. Prepare to be very very disappointed.

Mystic Seaport in Mystic, Connecticut? A cable car on the hilly streets of San Francisco? Maybe if you're a prude 17-year-old (sorry, Biebs). What up, Cosmo? I was hoping for something a bit more, um, scintillating. I think you need my help coming up with a much racier list, and you got it.

While other attractions on Cosmo's list include atop the Ferris wheel at Chicago's Navy Pier, standing on the corner of Toulouse and Bourbon Street in New Orleans, and while having a picnic in Hyannis on Cape Cod -- I'm still feeling a serious lack of sexiness.

Where's the mention of a lip lock in the middle of a packed tour group aboard a double-decker bus in the Big Apple? Or how about the temptation to get your groove on near the stacks of the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C.? Isn't this the same magazine that brought newsstands across the U.S. a wholesome dose of Lea Michele's cleavage last month and boasts in their advice forms how to give your man the best blow job?

Yeah, I'm prettttttyyy positive it is. Personally, I can think of some much better spots, and they don't all have to be the signature landmarks of the fifty nifty for me to feel the love. When I think of kissing, I think of acting natural and simply enjoying the company of someone you really care about. Want perfect? Laying on the grassy hill in San Francisco's Ghirardelli Square at sunset overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge, sneaking a peck. That's perfect. A scene like that, well -- that just screams kiss me now!

Cosmo's version ... the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden in Minnesota? It just doesn't have the same essence, to me anyway. Unless you have a weird kinky thing for larger-than-life sculptures. Come on Cosmo, give us what we love from you -- the smut.

What do you think of Cosmopolitan's list of smoochable spots? Where's your favorite location to kiss your hunny in your state?

Image via TaniaSaiz/Flickr

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