Clueless Husband Invents PMS Wristband for Wife


arguing coupleIs your man clueless? Does he have trouble understanding why you cry sometimes (for no reason at all!) or scream at him until you're blue in the face? Inventor Karl Dorn (or, as I feel like I should refer to him, Karl DURRR-n) has the solution! He has envisioned a wristband that he likes to call "Help for Husbands." According to the Daily Mail article that ran yesterday about this crazy-ass thing, it changes color to "warn" DH that his woman is PMSing. It works by "monitoring subtle changes in a woman's body temperature during her monthly cycle."

What. The. Hell?!

Hilariously, the PMS wristband only exists in this bozo's mind right now. There's no working prototype and no patent. But DURRRn Dorn is a finalist in an invention competition going on in England. So, that must be why his cockamamie idea is making the Mail.

Dorn says he got to thinkin' about it when he was having a few brews at the pub with his mates. Watching "footie" (you know, soccer), they'd kvetch about their relationships a la Al Bundy. That's when THE LIGHTBULB went off! WHAT IF men didn't have to be psychic to figure out what their wives were upset about?! Hence, an all-knowing wristband. (Maybe he would have been better off with a crystal ball ...) Because the only reason we're annoyed/frustrated/angry/upset/horny/worried/anxious/overwhelmed/clumsy/irritated or ready to walk out the door, etc.? The coming or going of our periods!!! Yeah, I'm only up in arms about this right now because I'm raging with PMS. Obviously.

Dorn told the Mail:

It's a very taboo issue -- I was a bit concerned about putting it forward -- but if you can help couples understand each other and communicate better that's got to be a good thing.

Well, at least his heart is in the right place? Still, Dorn really needs a swift PMS-induced smackaroo across the back of his head. I don't know what his relationship is like with his wife of 16 years (oh yes, someone married this guy), but it seems like he never got caught up to speed on how real adult relationships work.

Let's break it down for him, shall we?

You see, Karl, there are a bevy of reasons why women get upset at their men. Sometimes, it's because the guy is suffering from a case of Out-to-Lunch Disorder (you might wanna see a doc about that) ... or because the guy flat-out screwed up! Or because he's done a ton of little things we've neglected to address (like, forgetting to take out the trash when we've asked politely multiple times), and then we just blow up at him about it all in one fell swoop. (Not the most productive way to handle, I'll admit, but it happens.) Maybe 1 out of 500 cases has even an iota to do with our menstrual cycle. And in 100% of cases, if our guy doesn't know why we're upset, all he has to do is ASK! If you want to help couples understand one another and communicate better, maybe you could become a marriage counselor.

Okay, yes. There are women who simply expect their husbands to read their minds -- they refuse to say, "Honey, I spent all day juggling work and the kids, and now I have a migraine that is piercing my forehead open, so leave me the hell alone!" Similarly, there are men who can't ask, "Sweetheart, what did I do?" or say, "I'm sorry." But, seriously ... I think we all have evolved enough to be able to figure it out without the help of a PMS mood ring.

Don't you?


Image via sammydavisdog/Flickr

love, marriage


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Heart... HeartCharmMama

Oh, give him a might have been the brews talking! ; )

nonmember avatar Craig

Wow! So we try to be more sensitive to women's feelings and we catch hell. Damned if we do, yada yada yada.

nonmember avatar Matthew

There are already a couple iPhone apps that track a woman's period, and at least one of them was invented by a man for men. Personally, I don't know how a man would set it without tipping off his wife, since you need to know when her period begins at least the first time you set it.

Gigan... GigantaursMommy

Craig it's not trying to be sensitive to women's feelings, it's trying to find something else to blame rather than the issue at hand. I can honestly say things that piss me of during PMS piss me off when I'm not hormonal I'm just more likely to say something when I'm PMSing. And how do they plan on getting women to wear these damn wristbands? What are they going to hold women down and fuse them together around our wrists? This is such a terribly stupid idea.

Ta-ah Christine

LOL- I could use one of those bands right now to warn EVERYBODY today- Do not mess with me!!! I personally like this idea!

LuvMy... LuvMyMedic3ID

I think its funny. Men are so clueless its cute.  wristbands! hahaha 

Coset... Cosetterose

What are you on the rag or something? I agree with medic3

luna236 luna236

Yeah I think you're overreacting a little I think it's funny and maybe pms is not the only reason for a woman to be upset but some women do get a lot easier to upset around that time of month.

Mindy Gilmore

I see nothing wrong with the idea. I suffer from extreme PMS. My darling husband puts up with a lot from me. I have days that I literally want to throw a desk out the window at work. I have frequently apologized to co workers in advance because I can tell it's gonna be a bad day. I can usually control outbursts at work but at home surrounded by loved ones who you know will ultimately forgive you that is a different story. If they have advance warning they could be prepared. This husband is not clueless! I think too many people jump to conclusions without thinking through the issue. BTW PMS due in the next 4-5 days!!!!!!

nonmember avatar stella

If a guy doesn't know his girl's cycle he is most likely a self-absorbed prick who deserves to have his head bashed in by a frying pan... especially if he gripes, "You on the rag or somethin'?!?"

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