You’re standing in line at Starbucks, waiting for your mocha caramel latte whatchamacallit, when you spot him. The man standing three customers behind you in line. He's breathtaking in a [insert sexy celebrity] meets [name of favorite athlete eye candy] kind of way.
At this point, it only makes sense for you to spark this love connection since, in a few nanoseconds, you’ve pictured your wedding day and what your children — two boys and a girl — will look like. You flash him a 1,000-watt smile. He grins back.
Ummm, now what?
There are two brands of guy: the ones that you would never, ever dream of dating who always have the cojones to hit on you, and then there's the less aggressive, more attractive cuties who fail to receive the telepathic messages to ask you out. So until that technology is unveiled (what's taking it so long, anyway?), dudes actually appreciate when you talk to them first. Your initiative takes the pressure off of them, which scores you points from the get-go, and you won't have the should/could/woulda regret of not taking the bull by the horns — so to speak.
Not sure quite how to shed your demure damsel facade? Here are some tried-and-true tips:
1. Be resourceful. Anything is a conversation starter: the cold/hot/nice/crappy weather, a song blaring from his car, a random newspaper headline. Use whatever you’ve got around you to get that schmooze going — you’ll come off as friendly and down-to-earth, which will draw him in and make him want to keep talking to you.
2. Be confident, not a Playboy pinup. Contrary to what you may have told yourself, approaching a fellow doesn’t take an incredible amount of beauty or poise. As much as the average man would like to think he’d be on point if Halle Berry sauntered up to him, he’d probably fare much better in real-life conversation with you. Position your body directly in front of his, shoulders back, and look him dead in the eyes when you talk. Confidence is sexiness.
3. Be a good flirt, but don’t overdo it. There is a fine line, my friends. Touch his arm lightly three times during the convo. Tilt your head slightly to one side when he talks to show how intensely you’re listening to him. Guys like subdued sensuality, and they differentiate women they can bed easily from ladies with girlfriend potential in the amount of time it takes us to blink and swallow.
4. Be unique. Pick one sincere compliment to give him on something that no one else usually notices. If he has gorgeous hazel eyes, he probably gets props on them all of the time. Tell him he has nice hands/eyebrows/teeth instead. Say something that will make you stand out in his mind, something that will make him smile when he thinks about you later in the day.
5. Be a saleswoman. All of that chatting will prove pointless if you don't make moves for a follow-up. Suggest you meet in the area later on for a cup of coffee or a drink. Hand him your business card and tell him you would love to go to dinner sometime and continue the great conversation you've been having. Go old school and scribble his number down on a piece of paper. Just seal the deal.
If, by chance, your efforts fall flat and nothing comes of them, there’s absolutely no loss, no rejection, no knock to the self-esteem. He was just good practice for the next go-round. You're fabulous. You're witty. You're a great conversationalist (once you get started). Now, push your boobs up, smile pretty and go get ‘em girl.
Have you ever hit on a guy first? What's your man-getting technique?
Image via johncarljohnson/Flickr
Something my kids handmade
A fun holiday at home with my family
Some time off!
Something just for me, like a plush robe