Oh, Mario Lopez, with your deep dimples, perfect hair, and rock hard abs. You've been married, divorced, and now, you're the father of a baby girl conceived with your girlfriend, Courtney Mazza.
Last week, you used Howard Stern's show as your confessional booth to fess up to something that we all already knew: That you cheated on "long-term girlfriend turned fiance turned wife" Ali Landry. All the way up to the week of your wedding.
You were cheating on the woman that you had been with for seven years and you go ahead and marry her? Why? Because, as you said:
I think when you go out for a few years, you either take it to another level or you break up, right? There was nothing glaringly wrong on paper.
Huh? Really, that’s your excuse? Unfortunately, Lopez is not alone in getting married for the wrong reasons. Here are a few more mistakes that both men and women make when deciding whether to head down the aisle:
He or she has been given an ultimatum. Demanding to get married or else is never a good way to start a marriage. Ultimatums are usually based in the giver's own insecurities and fears.
It’s the next logical step. No, it's not. The next logical step is to wait until you want to get married because you want to get married.
It’s what your partner wants. She wants to get married, take your last name, and start a family. (Or vice versa.) Well, do you? Because if you're doing it for them, chances are you're going to regret it later.
You owe it to him/her. You owe it to both of you to listen to your inner voice. If it's not saying that you should run to the altar together, there's a reason.
Your biological clock is ticking. Wrong. Not a reason to get married. But if you really want to have a baby, then have a baby. Single parenting is really hard, but it's easier than being a parent in a bad marriage.
Get married because you're both madly, passionately in love and want to spend the rest of your lives together in a partnership that makes you feel like the two of you, as a team, can overcome anything. Your chance at a happy, successful, long-lasting marriage will be much higher.
Did someone you know get married for the wrong reason? Did the marriage last?
Image via WEBN-TV/Flickr
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Comments 15
Another reason that needs to be added to your list: You're pregnant and feel it's the "right thing to do". Of course if you have a child together, you should be married. But not at the cost of the child. If two people happen to find themselves pregnant before they were planning to, running to the alter before you are ready is just going to make the situation harder, most of the time. In a perfect world everyone would be married before having children, but hormones win out sometimes, and/or contraceptives fail.
I don't want it to sound like I think getting married because you're preganat is always a bad thing. Just for some couples it could be.
*pregnant
Yes, I know someone who got married for the wrong reasons...ME.
A month before I turned 18, I had my daughter...we got married when she was 3 months old.
Why? Because it's the right thing to do. Right?
NOT.
Having a baby is NOT a reason to get married. I went ahead and did it because it was what everyone else was telling me was the right thing to do...I'll even admit, when the judge said, "If anyone has just cause that these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold you peace", I wanted to tell him, "Sorry, but I can't do this." But I was too chickenshit. So I went through with it.
And no, it did not work out. I ended up leaving him when I was 24 because I finally realized that having children with someone does NOT mean you have to marry them...and leaving him was one of the BEST decisions I have EVER made.
I don't know ... my husband and I wanted to move on with our life together, to buy a house, have children and be fully invested in one another. I suppose we could have attempted all of this without the stability offered by marriage, but why?! We have our struggles ... if we were ... dating (?), we would have walked out long ago. Marriage is OUR COMMITMENT to one another. It is a comfort we share together, being linked in this rare way ... my husband is flawed as am I, but we are making things work together. Interestingly, I don't believe we have every been "head over heels" in passionate love, something I have been for far lesser men.
Life is a struggle and there is little security in undemonstrated commitment.
Hahaha, I broke several of these rules. I gave my husband an ultimatum. I told him that I wasn't getting younger, I wanted to marry and have children and I wasn't waiting forever. He had a choice, we get married or I move on. We got married. Fifteen years later we have had our fair share of joy and adversity. We've had four children and buried one. He had cancer, we had jobs we loved and jobs we hated. In spite of all this we are still happily married. Some men need a nudge down the road to marriage. Some men need reminding that they don't have all the time in the world.