Sex Survey: Mile High Club Wants YOU!

Heather Chaet

mile highIt's one of those things I just don't get. Like the popularity of The Bieber, the attraction of eating chicken liver, and why people put the toilet roll going under (it should always go over -- less amount of muscle effort is required).

The desire to join the Mile High Club. To have sex mid-air, most likely in the airplane bathroom. A new survey says 95 percent of air travelers want to join or have joined the Mile High Club.

The phrase "love in the air" takes on a whole new meaning after reading this survey. And it gets even better -- 45 percent of people said they have flirted in-air, with 8 percent going on to have a relationship from that plane pick-up.

Okay, I get flirting, I get maybe exchanging numbers. What's really got me? Twenty percent of you have already done the "cloud mambo." Gather up five friends -- odds are least one of them has had high-flyin' hanky-panky.

I just don't get it.

Let me break it down:

The cleanliness (or lack thereof): You are in a bathroom. Not just any bathroom, but the kind that really doesn't flush people's business away. It has that blue stuff in the bottom. It's basically a port-a-potty in the sky. There are not enough antibacterial wipes in the world that would get me over that fact.

The smell: Kinda goes along with the cleanliness. It is rank in those bathrooms. Worse than your sixth grade gym locker room's foul smells. Nose plugs could help, but have you seen yourself with nose plugs? Not so pretty. Plus, you'd kind of suffocate while kissing.

The pure logistics of it: Those bathrooms are small. I'm 5'4" and weigh about 112 pounds. I barely fit in one by myself. First, how is my husband also supposed to smash in there? Second, how will we get our clothes off -- not even all of our clothes, just our pants down a bit, without totally clocking each other with elbows? And third, well, how do we, ahem, have room to "boogie"? I don't see how, really, anyone does it (literally) without pulling a hamstring.

The ins and outs: Okay, not THE ins and outs. How do you get in and out of there without everyone knowing what you were doing? This is a point I could give on, because, well, who cares -- and if it's an overnight flight when most people are asleep, this may not be an issue.

The "what if" factor: What's this? Think about all of the "what if"s that could happen while you are in there having airplane schnookie? What if there's major turbulence? What if you get locked in there and they have to pry the door open and you are so totally busted?

And what if there's a little girl outside the door who really needs to use the potty? She's got a poopy coming and can't hold it. You both hear this and have a heart. You stop and come out ... and then the little girl asks her mom (who is standing there, knowing full well what was going on), "Um, Mommy, why were they in the bathroom together?"  

Yeah, you just made that mom have to a) lie to her kid or b) have a conversation she didn't want to have yet. Nice work, Mile High Clubbers, nice work.

Do you want to join (or are you a member already of) the Mile High Club?

Image via contraption/Flickr

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