Google Maps, Google Earth & Now Google Condom

Megan Van Schaick
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nyc condomLet me set the scene for you: you’re out on a date and it’s going pretty well. Things are starting to heat up, in fact. He’s saying and doing all the right things, you’re totally feeling his vibe. You start to think ... maybe I’ll give him a little more than a good night kiss. Then things really heat up and you just can’t wait -- except ... OMG! You don’t have a condom. Well, never fear! If you live in New York City, your handy little iPhone can help.

As part of National Condom Awareness Day (which coincidentally falls right on Valentine’s Day), New York’s Bureau of HIV/AIDS Prevention and Control developed the application that uses the iPhone GPS system to pinpoint the nearest “condom distribution venue” -- be it drug store or gas station bathroom (where you are hopefully not having sex).

Do I even need to ask why you need to find a condom via your phone in the middle of a date?

I think I do. Seriously? In the middle of the date, you need a condom so bad that you have to find one right!now! Because, of course, you weren’t the good Girl Scout and you didn’t come prepared. That would just be unseemly, wouldn’t it? Much better to dial up an already-installed application and find a condom -- that won’t look weird.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all about condoms. I just think that unless you are a prostitute who’s run out, you probably don’t need an application to tell you where to get one.

Hopefully you have enough of a brain to know that any corner drugstore can supply your need. I pray to god that you have enough of a brain to wait until you can get to the drugstore -- because come on. If you can take the time to use your handy little app to find a condom, you can also take the time to make it to CVS and buy a condom, or 20, however many you think you'll need. In fact, buy the extra value pack -- that way you won't have to go condom hunting mid-date in the future.

Would you use a condom-locating app?

 

Image via uberzombie/Flickr

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