Have you heard of this? SADD, or Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder, is apparently striking deep into the lives of all of our menfolk. We must rally against this horrible affliction! We must protect our men! We must defend our sex lives!
Or maybe we just need to give the guys in our lives a poke with a good sharp stick.
SADD is supposedly caused by watching too much Internet porn. Men get accustomed to the instant gratification and novelty of porn and then are unable to perform in a real world situation. Poor wittle babies.
Get off it. This is just another excuse for guys to be lazy in bed.
How long has porn been around? Pretty much since people have. Sure, it’s progressed from cave paintings and scrolls to magazines, DVDs, and the Internet. Guys read porno mags back in the day and they had all the same novelty of the Internet. Same instant gratification. So why is SADD just now becoming a problem?
It’s not a problem at all is the thing of it. The Internet isn’t what’s turning your guy into a two-pump chump. SADD just gives him a “valid” reason to skip foreplay and make sex all about meeting his own needs. He COULD opt to pay attention in bed. If all these guys are losing erections halfway through the deed, it can’t be blamed on Internet pornography. He’s either letting his mind wander or he’s got a medical problem -- more likely the former.
Internet porn -- any porn, for that matter -- is incredibly self-centered. The only person you have to pay attention to is yourself. If a guy takes that attitude in bed with a girl, one of two things will happen: He’ll completely ignore her and focus only on his own gratification or he’ll get bored.
But nothing says he has to take that attitude. Nothing says that it’s a given that he’ll develop this very grave disorder. It’s all a behavioral thing, which means he controls it. He can choose to pay attention. And if he chooses not to, it’s because it was a conscious decision, not because of some stupid disorder made up to get him off the hook.
What do you think? Is SADD real or just an excuse?
Image via Kainr/Flickr
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Comments 28
IMO, it is an excuse. When a man prefers porn to his 'live' wife or girlfriend, there's something wrong. How would our men feel if we got bored in bed because we'd rather be watching porn on the internet??
sweetiepye2004, they'd ask you to watch it with them. Lol.
memigen is right. Men will always prefer their woman to engage in a sexual activity with them, whatever it is.
Women have no one to blame but themselves for men going to porn. They are doing it because their woman is uninterested. They would always prefer the woman. Many men are going to porn to peak their excitement so that they can get in the mood to chase their woman since the woman is not chasing them.
Women, be glad your man is going to porn. The alternative is for him to be banging that oh-so-willing girl in the office or coffee shop.
First of all, I hardly agree that women only have themselves to blame for a man watching porn. There is absolutely no evidence to show that the men that watch it have uninterested women. Be grateful your man is watching porn instead of banging the girl next door?! Have women lowered their standards so much to use the word GRATEFUL that he is turning to that instead of her? What difference does it make - he is still being unfaithful in his heart watching it. I think we can blame society and the new notion that watching porn is okay for the problems and heartache that this issue causes in relationships.
I am not one to usually comment but this is one topic I could not let pass - even if I am the only one to advocate and encourage women to strive for more in a relationship. The idea that men have "needs' and so it is more appropriate for them to do such things is rubbish - I'd like to see women raise their standards and expect more from their relationship and men than accepting the pitiful excuses we've been taught and socialized to believe.
Bearhitch, you are missing the point in your self-righteous indignation.
Here is the point: THE MAN WANTS TO HAVE SEX! (that is why is is lokkng at porn)
Here is what the woman can do: HAVE SEX WITH HIM!
Its really simple. Yes, the woman can "strive for more". Strive for more sex and you will have a better relationship.
Look at the studies: men think about sex ten times a day. They want to have it every day. They will settle for twice a week. If a woman is not having sex with her man at least twice a week, he will turn to porn or the girl in the coffee shop. Your choice.
I advocate in agreement with Bearhitch, but JJ has a point, too. I don't know how many times I've heard the phrase, "She who controls the panties, controls the man." I don't feel that sex should be a weapon at the aid of the woman because you are going to use it one too many times.
Having said that, I do feel that porn is cheating in your heart. You should be able to be aroused soley by the thought of making love to your partner. Why do you have to think of some other attractive person? Shouldn't your partner be the only one you think of like that? I think that the notion that a man has "needs to fullfill" is ridiculous. This is an advancced society with brains and the ability to control one's self. Men are perfectly capable of being monogamous, just like women are capable. It's the leeway we give with porn and other sexual gratuities that is leading us into a wicked downward spiral. No wonder STDs and AIDs are so high with the way we portray sex as "just filling a need."
I once knew a guy who watched so much porn (not just internet, but DVD, too), that he was virtually impotent if it wasn't playing while he was attempting sex with a live-and-in-person woman. He was maybe 22-23 years old. So SADD, I think, is a distinct possibility.