Chevy Cruze 'Facebook Car' Guy Is Screwed Either Way

Maressa Brown

Among last night's most talked about 2011 Super Bowl commercials was a spot for the Chevy Cruze aka "The Facebook Car." The ad opted to sidestep slapstick or Jerry Bruckheimer-like action in lieu of a spot plot that played on viewers' heart strings. Kinda reminded me of last year's Google ad, in which we saw a love story play out between a study-abroad student and a French girl in the Google search bar ... 

If you didn't see the lovey-dovey Chevy ad, here's the gist: A guy and girl awkwardly kiss goodnight, he gets in his Chevy and drives away. He touches a button and an automated voice comes over his car intercom, announcing his Facebook news feed. Surprise! His date wrote a status update that reads, "Best first date ever." Guy smiles. "The new Chevy Cruze with real-time Facebook status updates ... When the good news just can't wait." End scene.

Cute, right? WRONG! No, no, no -- it's not. It's horrifying. Make it stop!

It was bad enough when I was single, and I had to contend with Wall Street schmucks and their Blackberries sitting napkin-side, competing with me for attention during dinner. At least I understand workaholics have a co-dependent relationship with their BBMs.

But, now it's gone too far. Our personal lives are not being bolstered by the omnipresence of social media in every minute of our day. In fact, relying on Facebook so much that you need to check status updates IN YOUR CAR is a death sentence for old-fashioned romance!

Remember Drew Barrymore's character, Mary's rant in He's Just Not That Into You?

I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.

She was so right! And our dependence on technology in relationships isn't only exhausting -- it's self-destructive. Sure, it's nice to know in nanoseconds that your date adored you, or that your boyfriend changed his status from "In a Relationship" to "Engaged," or that old flame you ran into at a high school reunion is now "Single" too. But what's the sequel to the Chevy ad? Does the guy call her as soon as he gets home, because he knows (thanks to his Facebook car) that she's into him? He says, "Hey, so my news feed alerted me that you had a great time! Maybe I can get past first base tomorrow night?"

I loathe mind games in dating and relationships, and sure, I appreciate knowing where my partner stands, but come on! What happened to sharing how you feel with the other person, instead of with 502 of your closest Facebook friends?

Plus, in order for there to be butterflies in our tummies and off-the-charts chemistry, SOMETHING has to be left to the imagination! Even waiting until he got home to check his news feed on his iPhone, iPad and laptop (all simultaneously, because why not?!) would have left Chevy Cruze Guy with some heart-fluttering anticipation and thoughtful solitude on his drive home.

That's why I have to disagree with Chevy. The good news can and should wait. Because, when it comes to love, instant gratification just makes us lazy and crazy.

In case you missed it, here's the Facebook car in action:


Do you think real-time Facebook status updates are killing romance?


Image via YouTube

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