10 Reasons Married Ladies Should Skip Valentine's Day

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valentine's dayDo you feel that pressure? It's not heartburn from too many Super Bowl snacks. Nope. That, my friends, is the pressure building up for Valentine's Day. The day of romance, love, and Cupid's endless arrows. The day when we focus all of our energy on wooing lovers -- or drowning our sorrows in pints of Cookies 'n' Cream.

That's all fine and dandy for the single people. But if you're married, why bother with all the hassle? You've already promised to spend the rest of your life with your partner -- so why fuss over such a cliched holiday?

Here are 10 very good reasons married women should thank their lucky stars that they can skip the big V-day this year.

Pressure -- Who needs the pressure of planning the perfect day and finding the perfect gift? You don't have time for that kind of stress! All for one silly day? No way.

Candy -- Do you really need (or want) that giant heart filled with cut-rate candy? And if you're like me, your husband is going to eat roughly two-thirds of the box before you even pick up your first piece.

Flowers -- Quite simply, they die. And before that, they wilt and leave pollen all over your table. If you shell out for really good flowers, they might last a week and then you are just left with something to clean up.

Jane Seymour -- Do you really want to be stuck with a tacky piece of jewelry Jane Seymour has been hawking for two months? And you know you'll have to wear it, because your husband is so proud of himself.  

Corporations -- The only reason Valentine's Day even exists is corporate greed. There just had to be a reason to buy their crap between Christmas and Mother's Day, and V-Day was the perfect choice.

Pink -- It makes everyone look fat, even if you are a size two. Plus, it's just so twee. Pink pajamas, socks, lingerie... it doesn't matter, it's just awful and unfortunately ubiquitous during the month of February.  

Gifts -- Is there anything out there that doesn't have hearts on it? Or is a teddy bear, or something else stuffed and cute? Or has lace and frouf all over it? He's not going to wear those heart-covered silky boxers and you probably aren't going to display that ginormous stuffed sock monkey.  

Proof of Love -- Valentine's is the day we are supposed to prove our love to the person we're smitten with. Well, if you are married, don't you think that the act of getting married and sharing your everyday life with your husband is proof enough?  

Expense -- Puh-lease. Flowers, candy, dinner, champagne, plus a gift? There goes the mortgage for the month!  

Sex -- Valentine's Day is all about getting laid, even for your husband. This is the one day of the year that he is absolutely without a doubt going to expect sex. You almost have to have sex. Now tell me, is that worth Jane Seymour's stupid necklace?

Are you celebrating Valentine's Day this year?

 

Image via Sister72/Flickr

love, marriage