Can I ask you a personal question? Do you masturbate? If you don't, you should. Masturbation can relax and de-stress you. It can also improve sexual relations with your partner by showing them what turns you on. And masturbation can satisfy you when your partner is at another one of those late dinner meetings or out of town.
But perhaps you don't tickle your taco or beat your beaver because you think it's gross. Or maybe you don't think that you have the time for it. If so, you should reconsider it because I think masturbating is part of taking care of yourself, like wearing sunscreen or eating quinoa.
Here's a how-to guide to help you help pleasure yourself, whether you've never done it or have done it a thousand times before:
Step 1: Set yourself up in a relaxing environment. Like in your bedroom with your eyes closed so that you can’t see the piles of clean laundry waiting to be folded and put away. Or in the bathtub with the lights dimmed low.
Step 2: Take the time to get comfortable. Slip out of your pants, pull your underwear completely off. It gets distracting if you have to deal with clothes that are restraining your movements or keeping your ankles together.
Step 3: Think about what kind of session you’re in the mood for and arrange whatever accessories you might need: a vibrator or clitoral massager? Some lube? How about a little erotica or some mood music? Even just letting your mind wander to that great sex session you had with your partner a few weeks ago.
Step 4: Take a few deep breaths and slowly reacquaint your mind with your body. Touch yourself. Wherever you want. It’s just you and your vagina. Your door is locked, isn't it?
Step 5: Hopefully you’re a little worked up by now. Pick up the pace, your lube (if you need it), and your toys. Spend some time trying out what feels best for you. Is it clitoral stimulation or vaginal insertion? Fast movements or slow stroking?
Step 6: You're coming? Let your body take over and have that orgasmic release you've been waiting for. Allow time for the aftershocks to play out and let all of your muscles enjoy being relaxed for a change.
Don't you feel better now? And remember that whatever works for you here is going to work when your partner does it as well. But you have to be able to tell him.
And while the above steps make for a relaxing experience, sometimes you really don't have time to follow them when the mood strikes you. There's nothing wrong with just reaching down and rubbing one out. Men do it all of the time. And you'll still get the benefits.
Are you pro-masturbation?
Image via Dyanna/Flickr