My New Year's Resolution: Jumpstart My Love Life

Sally Mercedes
Love & Sex
6

broken heart mosaicFor the first time in over six years, I'm completely single, with no prospects lined up. Unlike the vast majority of my friends, though, I know I don't want any prospects. Yes, I'm living the cliché: single and ready to mingle. Perhaps I should backtrack a bit ...

Way back when, I was living the life of a single college gal. I was meeting men everywhere, not looking for anything serious, and enjoying myself and my time with friends. One of those friends broke up with his girlfriend, and over the course of a few months, we got much closer. I started spending less time with the other guy I was seeing and, before I knew it (well, several months later, actually), I was in a full-blown relationship.

As with any long-term relationship, we had our ups and downs, but this summer we decided to go our separate ways, which is how I found myself navigating the dating scene for the first time, well, ever.

You see, sadly for me, I never actually dated before. The last time I was single, I usually got to know guys while hanging out in groups. If we spent time alone together, we already knew we were into each other, so there wasn't any pressure. And while my ex and I were non-monogamous for part of our relationship, I still didn't "date" so much as hang out in groups and singled out who I was attracted to.

I spent enough time mourning the demise of my relationship to know that I needed a better approach. Rather than getting sucked into the break-up blackhole, I decided to jumpstart my love life.

So the first thing I did? I joined OkCupid. The second thing I did? I became a dating machine.

My calendar for January was so packed, I overwhelmed unsuspecting passersby who happened to catch a glimpse. You see, when I set a goal, I become completely focused. And my goals right now are to get to know myself better, meet really cool people, make some great friends, and have new and interesting experiences.

That, and to have great sex. There! I said it!

I realize mediocre sex will come around and I'm preparing myself for bad sex -- which I've yet to cross paths with -- but if I'm going to stop having sex with the ex, I'm going to need to get it elsewhere. Sex is important to me and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

January is almost over, but so far my resolution is on track. I've met some cool people and made one really good friend. I've got a few dates left to line up from OkCupid and there are a couple of guys I'd like to see again. Having exhausted most of my matches on OkC, I'm joining HowAboutWe next. I'm also taking it offline by meeting friends of friends, confessing my crushes, and even opening myself up to the possibility of *gulp* being set up on blind dates.

One thing I've learned is that dating is incredibly exhausting, so I'm going to slow down a bit in February. At the end of the day, I'm doing this for myself, and I need me time as much as the next person. But I'm having a lot of fun exploring the city I'd come to hate and the single me I'd long forgotten. Something tells me this may be my best New Year's resolution yet.

 

Image via CarbonNYC/Flickr

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