According to a male empowerment group called the Manhood Academy, Western Civilization is smack dab in the middle of a masculinity crisis. I didn't know that! But the confident fellows from the Manhood Academy assure me it's true.
The Manhood Academy was formed by Dr. LeDice and Professor Plum, presumably not their real names, which is awfully timid for two authoritarians of manliness. However, they work hard to promote their "universal truth," patrolling the web calling men emasculating names, reminding them to keep their "bitches in check." They also spend some time here on The Stir (think they secretly like empowered women?).
Worried about your man's manhood now? Well, don't be. The dudes at the Manhood Academy have got your man covered -- and The Stir has even developed a quiz, based on our exclusive interview with them, so you can easily evaluate your man's masculinity (oh wait, best to ask his permission first ... I'm still learning ... ).
Read on for our short quiz.
Here's the good news. If, indeed, your man has been emasculated, whether by your making him do dishes or watch the kids or by your subscribing to the "equality" ideology of pesky feminists, luckily, it's not your problem. It's his problem! As the guys at the Manhood Academy told me in our interview, "men don't need 'empowering.' They already come with built-in power." Phew, I'll just cross "empower my man" right off my to-do list.
Here's a quiz to find out if your man is emasculated (but remember, it's not your fault if he is; he's the one in charge! unless, of course, you're in charge, in which case his built-in biological male function might very well just be effed up ... or something ... like I said, I'm still learning ... ).
QUIZ - Evaluate Your Man's Manhood (answer yes or no):
1. Do you and your man strive to have an equal partnership, in which you are both happy and fulfilled?
2. Do you and your man share the authority in your relationship -- sometimes what you say goes, other times what he says goes (or at least you let him think what he says goes)?
3. Do you ever take charge in your relationship?
4. Do you ever take on traditionally male roles in your household -- like watching from the couch while your husband cooks, does the dishes, or fetches a bottle for baby -- either because you're good at it or just enjoy it?
5. Are you free to do what you want, like go to the grocery store or out with a friend or read The Stir, without asking your man for permission?
6. Are you sometimes a bitch to your husband?
7. Is your husband a total jerk on occasion?
8. Do you and your man put one another in check from time to time (or a little more often cause it's kinda hot to put each other in check -- wink, wink)?
9. Do you sometimes feel that watching your man help out around the house is a huge turn-on?
10. Do you find it a big turn-off when your man calls all the shots in bed?
11. Is your man a stay-at-home dad or does he take on a good deal of the childcare?
12. Do you make your own money?
13. Do you breastfeed in public?
If you answered "Yes" to even one of these questions, then, according to the guys at the Manhood Academy (and no one else), your man's manhood -- and in turn your relationship with and attraction to him -- is at stake! Masculinity crisis!
Here's what these so-called masculinity preservationists have to say about each question above:
1. 'Equality' is a euphemism feminists often rely on to make dysfunctional relationships more palatable.
2. Women involved in relationships with men who properly exercise authority over them are MUCH HAPPIER than those who aren't.
3. In the same way that men aren't qualified to have babies (due to their design), women aren't qualified to be in charge (also due to their design); this is not a matter of equality. This is not a sexist or hateful statement. It's strictly a matter of gender function.
4. This is a shame because so many relationships are ruined by women who compete for authority in a relationship while neglecting to fulfill their own female function.
5. You're like an unruly child assuming that submitting to your parent's authority will mean the end of your happiness. Yet, ironically, it's your unlimited amount of freedom that leads to your unhappiness.
6. You're only a bitch because he allows you to get away with that type of behavior.
7. "Acting like a jerk" is often times female-speak for "he's not giving me my way."
8. Women have no need to put men in check since this would be akin to a child putting a parent in check. It's not in the child's capacity or position to put a man in check.
9. That saying reflects a childish, self-serving attitude ... regardless of how much they contribute, emasculated men always suffer the ungrateful attitudes of women who've never had authoritative boundaries applied to them ... I'd say the very least you could do was keep the house in order for him without complaining. Otherwise, the next time you hear a prowler in your home, you should be the one required to go risk your life fighting him.
10. If a guy knows how to lead a girl, he will spontaneously become attractive to her ... I don't need to assume that men being in charge of their relationships will make their women more sexually attracted to them. I simply look at the vast amount of evidence -- from both my own personal life and the lives of men and women around the world who've written to us.
11. In a functional relationship, a dad really shouldn't be put in that type of position. He should be doing everything to avoid it. But again, because of feminism's harmful ideology, people make poor decisions that undermine their relationships without realizing it.
12. Women want to be cared for, yet they want to make their own money. In essence, feminism teaches women to have their cake and eat it too.
13. As much as I love seeing a pair of tits, a woman shouldn't be showcasing her body in public, regardless of the context. This so-called liberated view is a result of feminism's degradation of male sexuality. Men are constantly shamed into lying about their sexuality for fear of social reprisals.
That's right these are the beliefs (or truths, as they call them) from men living in the current century. Afraid? We are too.
Will you be sending your man to the Manhood Academy right away? Why or why not?
Image via ocean yamaha/Flickr