All those people who say that you should never go to bed angry? Well, it turns out, they may be wrong. So, sorry Grandma, it turns out you may have been giving out bad advice. A new study reports that I can go to bed angry at my partner and not have to feel bad about doing so.
Why? Because being quick to forgive your partner's transgression may actually reinforce their poor behavior.
In the study, 135 newly married couples kept week-long relationship diaries. Findings showed that the individuals that reported being upset at something their spouse had done, and forgave them, had partners that were almost twice as likely to misbehave again the next day.
I'll admit, studies like this give me pause. So many other factors come in to play in a relationship like the level of trust and intimacy. But one thing I took away from this study? Other than holding a grudge in order to help keep your partner in line, couples should work on solving the problem that led to the transgression in the first place.
No more “To err is human; to forgive is divine.” Hold a grudge. Go to bed mad. But make sure to take care of your relationship issues. Then live happily ever after.
Do you ever go to bed angry with your partner?
Image via arhadetruit/Flickr