A couple of years ago, a pastor in Florida issued a challenge for his parishioners: Have sex for 30 days (or nights) in a row and see what it does to your marriage.
Head pastor Paul Wirth of Relevant Church in Ybor City, outside Tampa, says his "30-Day Sex Challenge" was one way of combating the disturbing 50-percent divorce rate in our country. The idea is not just physical. According to Wirth (who has taken the challenge himself), it's actually a way to increase the intimacy, to pay attention to one another again, and to start meeting each other's needs.
Wirth, who has since written a book -- 30daysexchallenge: A Journey to Intimacy -- says that 20 million married Americans have sex fewer than 10 times a year. That's less than once a month!
My husband and I aren't that bad, but with two children under four, two demanding careers, a dog, a cat, two cars, and a house to keep up, it can often seem like sex is the last thing either of us wants to do. Time for a challenge, no?
And that is why we agreed to try this and report back.
My husband and I have been married nearly eight years now, together for 10. We have known one another since we were 10 (we were friends for a long time) and generally have a great relationship. We both consider the other our best friend, make each other laugh, and have a very healthy sex life.
We probably average about three to four times a week, which is apparently a lot by married standards, but less than we might like. It's not just the sex, though. For me, a major component of good sex is feeling close to him and that is the part that lately has seemed a bit lost.
Between the children, the jobs, and the constant struggle to pay the bills, cook the meals, pack the lunches, clean the dishes, make the bed, sweep the floors, walk the dog, and on and on, sometimes it seems like falling on the couch and watching TV and sleeping are the only thing we want to do. Gone are the days where we used to bring books to bed early, chat for hours, have a little sex, and then sleep all cuddled together.
We fall asleep on the couch now by 10, stumble up to bed by midnight, and by 1 a.m. we have usually had at least one bathroom wake-up call from our 4-year-old and often one from the dog, as well. Sleep is the priority. Sex (and all the intimacy that accompanies it)? Not so much. So we are ripe for a change.
The other night, my husband presented this idea, and at first I was like, ANOTHER daily chore?? H@#! No! Once I considered it, it made sense. We are on Day 2 and honestly, my outlook is already a little different. I know at the end of the day, no matter how stressful or annoying, I will get a little bit of close, intimate time with my best friend.
Of course, ask me on Day 28 and it may be different ... I will report back in 30 days!
Anyone want to play along?
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