We ladies are notorious for confounding men with our mixed messages and passive aggression.
We get why we do it. For instance, when he asks, "Do you mind if we play basketball for two hours Friday night?" we want to say no, we don't mind. After all, he is a good husband, needs the workout, and has had a hard week. On the other hand, it means we will be alone with the kids, handling bed time (again), and likely putting up with some meltdowns after a full week of already doing this because he worked late.
So, do we mind? "No, honey, go right ahead," we probably say, tight lipped and obviously annoyed.
What does he hear? "Go ahead." What should he hear? "Walk out that door Friday night and hear my wrath." Now he has an easy translator for those tough moments! Check "The Manslater" out below:
The video is hilarious, but the behavior maybe not so much. I get it and am guilty of it like many other women, but wouldn't it be nice to get to a point where we could just say what we mean?
Instead of saying, "Sure honey, go ahead," through gritted teeth, we could say: "It's a major pain, but I want you to have fun so go ahead. But next Friday, I get a girls' night."
See how easy that was? It was clear, concise, to the point, and probably will earn you a sorely needed night out with little to no argument from him. The alternative, of course, is that he goes despite your bad mood, you make him pay later when your night is bad, and then when you tell him you want to go out the next week, he reacts with anger or tries to guilt you.
Honesty is so much better. After seeing this video last week, I have been trying to stop being passive aggressive and it really does work. Clarity is a powerful thing.
Do you ever say things you don't mean?
Image via YouTube