How Much Would You Pay for Bad Sex?

Sasha Brown-Worsham
8

For many, the number one perk to monogamy is saying goodbye to condoms.

This is not a public health message, obviously. Condoms are great and serve their purpose, but in the context of a monogamous relationship in which both partners are tested and safe, it's much nicer to skip them.

There, I said it. Oh, I know we're never supposed to speak ill of condoms because they're the miracle cure-all for everything from STDs to pregnancy (at least if you believe MTV), but the truth is more complicated, and perhaps only those in monogamous relationships should read any further ...

**Truth Alert!**

Condoms are a great big bummer and I'm shocked (shocked!) to find out that 4 percent of married couples are still using them. I honestly thought one of the bigger perks to marriage -- beyond hospital visits and health insurance -- was losing the old rubber.

Sex is -- dare I say it -- so much more personal and intimate without a sheath of latex blocking the skin. Masturbation is better than sex with a condom, it seems. Still, I guess for some (presumably those without latex allergies), it's still the birth control of choice.

Four percent just seems high, but a French company thinks it's low and wants to offer married couples incentive to have their sex suck at a higher price. The Original Condom Company just launched a $20 box of six "luxury" condoms in a suede lined container. At $3.33 per condom, it's clear what kind of opinion this company has of married sex. Perhaps if you're only having sex once a week, $3.33 seems low. According to the website:

This elegant box is inspired from the world of jewellery. You will be proud of displaying it!

No. Probably not. But thanks for asking. In fact, I would feel ashamed of the fact that I was over 30, married, and still not able to think of better birth control options. But mostly I would feel ashamed that I didn't just buy a pack of 36 Trojans for $16.99. Who would want to pay $3.33 per sex session? And forget going twice a day! That would add up quickly. Instead of headaches, women will now tell their spouses sex isn't in the budget tonight.

I'll stick with the IUD, thank you very much. After 2.5 years, the $500 (covered by insurance) I paid averages out much better than $3.33 per session.

Would you buy these condoms?

 

Image via Original Condoms

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