Married? Why Are You Using Condoms?


condomsWhen you're getting ready for the wedding, the smug marrieds love to come out in droves to warn you that your sex life is about to change in a big way. They're absolutely right. Welcome to freedom.

Freedom from the Trojan Man and his brethren that is. Only an estimated 4 percent of married couples cop to condom usage for birth control after they get hitched. Which begs the question: you're not in high school anymore, so why are you using a high school form of protection?

Condoms, as I've always seen them, are a necessary evil. Necessary to prevent pregnancy, yes, but even more so to prevent disease. They're good for the time period when you're still thinking, "I don't know where you've been."

Marriage frees you from not knowing. Provided you made a good choice (and if you didn't, excuse me, but why are you still married?), you've got someone you trust implicitly. Hopefully you've both been tested and come out clean on the other end. Protection in the wedded bliss phase ceases to be about STDs and starts being about "we don't want a baby."

If you aren't there yet, oh, it's a relief. Maybe even a bigger relief than not having to worry about that first date or the first kiss or the first time you take a good poo while he's in the next room. I wouldn't go back out on the dating scene for anything with this post-pregnancy body, but I especially don't want to go back to the days of wondering "is that a bump on his penis or is he just happy to see me?"

There's nothing like a deep level of trust and understanding, and sex after the wedding gives it up in spades. In 10 years of marriage, there have been a handful of times when the curse of the condom came calling: in between different prescriptions of the pill, for example, or in the months immediately following his vasectomy. In other words, it's only been in the absence of another version of birth control that I found the inconvenience of condoms necessary in our monogamous relationship.

So if you can't get on the pill, you just had your IUD out, or you're still breastfeeding, I understand the condoms. As for the rest of you, I think you're missing out.

Do you bother using condoms?


Image via Paul Keller/Flickr

sex, marriage


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popta... poptart0325

I still use condoms because I don't want to get pregnant. I don't mind using them and neither does my husband. It feels the same to me with or without and he says the same. I don't use birth control because a family member of mine died from the side effects of a birth control shot and after that I've always been weary of all birth control pills, shots, patches, etc.

Lynette Lynette

we use condoms when we aren't TTC, and we have been married 12yrs.  Because I won't put added unnatural hormones in my body.  And I don't feel right about how they work. 

rockn... rocknrollgirl70

i use bc and condoms.. i dont want to get pregnant anytime soon and we are making sure of that

kerwo... kerwolfe712

We use condoms because I'm breastfeeding and won't risk my milk supply with estrogen, can't stand the side effects of progesterone only, and I'm allergic to copper so I can't use a non-hormonal IUD.  I hardly think condoms are a 'high-school' birth control.  Whatever you can use as a reliable method of preventing pregnancy is the best method.  

nonmember avatar missk

i used condoms the full year after having my daughter for fear that my bc pill would fail. i still use them if i'm taking a medication that could affect my pill or if i've been ill. better safe then sorry anyday of the week

momto... momtothemax2910

Prior to trying to get pregnant we used condoms because I tried the pill once and bled for a month straight and decided it wasn't worth the hassle of finding the right one. Condom was so much easier. (turns out it was a waste due to a clotting disorder I have ah well).

hotic... hoticedcoffee

We don't use anything now because my tubes are tied (conveniently done right after my second was born via c/s), but if they weren't tied, he'd either be wearing a condom or he'd get snipped.  I was on the pill for 10 years prior to having my first child, and stopped when we were TTC - only when I was off the pills for a few months did I realize how many side effects they were causing - insomnia went away,I headaches went away, stopped bruisng so easily, I had more energy and was waaaaaay more interested in sex.  I wish I knew at 20 what I knew at 30 - I never would have gone on the pill in the first place.

nonmember avatar Allboys

Some people use condoms because they contracted STD's due to sexual abuse as a child and don't want to pass it on to their spouse. Some people use condoms because their spouse is in a high risk work environment which causes them to come into contact with blood born pathogens on a regular basis. Some people have open marriages and use condoms to protect themselves and their partners. Some people use condoms because they will not use hormonal birth control. Your limited life experience shouldn't be your only reference when dolling out marital advice.

minni... minnie99q

we needed fertility drugs to get pregnant. ive never had a period that wasnt medically induced. after 3 months when the boys were born we started having sex again and we used condoms the whole first year, i was terrified of getting pregnant since i had twins the first time. we dont use anything now since i havent had a period in 2 years so im not worried.

nonmember avatar Rick

Jeanne, you have a lot of articles which either peddle common political lines or are extremely limited to your personal experience. Have you ever done any research or come to an informed conclusion for yourself?

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