We've got a new year coming up, so why not a new word to delve into the complicated sex lives of Americans? At least the linguists claim flexisexuality is fresh for this decade. Technically speaking, short of being recently introduced to the lexicon, people debating whether they're neither straight nor gay nor bisexual is nothing new. It's just a better name for it.
You've been hearing about them for years, only you called them the "college lesbian." She was straight in high school, she'll be straight when she graduates, but she's doing a little experimentation between.
If you look at love in terms of black and white, she's bisexual. But life is full of shades of grey, and in truth, she's not bi. She'll abandon that flirtation with her own gender and likely never return -- if you're truly bisexual, it's for life. Then again, it means she's not gay either. It's disrespectful to people who are gay to treat like a passing fancy. And yet, straight doesn't quite match up.
But the term college lesbian has never been a good fit. Not least because lesbians don't need to be treated like their sexuality is a game. And then there's the 800 pound gorilla in the room. Aka, the guys.
No matter what your boyfriend says, plenty of men experiment with other guys. Ask any gay guy you know to give you an estimate of how many of the first few guys they fooled around with ended up growing up and getting a girlfriend and never going back. When you're sexually curious, you find someone who is equally curious. And young boys are almost always sexually curious.
And just like the ladies, guys who are just trying it out are neither gay nor bisexual. But in those moments they're not straight either. They're being flexible with their sexuality -- and that's OK. In fact, if we start using this term, it might loosen up the guys who are so terrified of being boxed into the term "gay" that they refuse to admit we're all human and all sexual beings.
I'm ready to start using "flexisexuality" in 2011; how about you?
Image via Dominic's Pics/Flickr