Most people have an ex. Whether it’s an ex-boyfriend or an ex-husband or even just an ex-lover.
And not all break-ups, divorces, or one-night stands end badly. Some of us actually stay in modified relationships with our exes and care about them and how they live their lives. So we want to get them a present for the holidays.
But picking out the right present can be a tricky thing.
Because even if you have the best ex relationship in the world, a little passive aggressiveness in your choice would be understandable. A gift that might leave them thinking, “Is this for real or do I detect a huge amount of sarcasm here?”
Whatever your intent, here are 5 gift ideas for your ex:
"Kiss Me I'm Single" T-shirt ($30): Though some may see this as mean-spirited, I choose to see it as helping your ex hook up. Everybody needs to market themselves some. Understated yet honest. It will definitely get him attention.
Inspirational coffee mug ($14): Picture your ex waking up in the morning, without you, and drinking his coffee out of a mug that will help him get his day started on a contemplative note. One of my favorites? This mug that quotes Eleanor Roosevelt -- "Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart."
Tenga Flip Hole Masturbator ($80): The perfect gift for a night spent alone. The Flip Hole is the latest and greatest in male masturbators. Its silicon inside is filled with all sorts of bumps and nubs while the clamshell design makes it easy to clean. Comes with three different types of lotion for him to try out.
The Pleasures of Cooking for One ($15.37): This beautiful hardcover cookbook by Judith Jones is written with the needs of the single person in mind. Jones includes tips on how to buy ingredients for one without wasting and stresses that even though you're alone, you should still enjoy the dining experience.
Clint Eastwood: 35 Films 35 Years ($119): Nobody is more of a real man than Clint Eastwood. What better gift for your ex to help him man-up by watching a real one in action. Includes Dirty Harry, Every Which Way but Loose, Mystic River, and 32 more of his films. Think of all of the evenings of viewing pleasure your ex will have. Plus, you'll be able to borrow them.
What are you getting for your ex this year?
Pens, pencils, markers, etc.