'My Big Friggin' Wedding' Recap: It's 3 a.m. -- Do You Know Where Your Fiancé Is?

Lauren Flynn Kelly

Image via VH1
Need I repeat myself? There will be strippers at the bachelor party! Any bride who thinks otherwise is kidding herself. And if there are no strippers, well, I guess you got yourself a winner.

Last week, Johnny broke Megin's rules by hitting a club called The Harem, where he squirted some gooey body paint on a bottomless stripper. This week, Johnny's argument that the stripper was technically taking a shower doesn't help his case with Megin.

For that, the ring is comin' off. Temporarily, that is. Arguing that "no ring equals free drinks," Megin ditches the rock for her bachelorette party. Johnny lays down two rules for Megin's night out: Be home at a reasonable hour and no sausage. (I assume this means don't touch a stripper's ding dong.) He proceeds to explain just how a male strip club works, and it seems curious to me that he knows so much about tucking dollar bills into men's private parts.

Nevertheless, Megin's sausage fest is a success. After she's entertained onstage by a platoon of gyrating GIs, she's happy to go home to Johnny and their baby at the end of the night. But the next day, Megin's mom has heard about Johnny's roasted pig one too many times, and asks her daughter to really think about whether this is the man she wants to marry.

After their disastrous joint bachelor/bachelorette outing, Joey and Sandra's big day arrives, and it is relatively drama-free. When the wedding party tries to do a photo shoot before the actual ceremony, too many guests are ogling the bride and Sandra gets flustered. But her diva moment passes, and she and Joey tie the knot in a feather-adorned gazebo, then have a blingin' bash complete with a mermaid sculpture made out of cheese. Sandra declares this the wedding of her dreams, and it's a happy ending for yet another Big Friggin' couple.

One couple I'm not so sure will get a happy ending is Danny and Tammie. As Danny's bachelor party approaches, Tammie freaks out when she sees that Danny was researching "strippers" (he apparently was looking at escort sites) on his computer. "I don't want to marry you anymore," she huffs. Danny shrugs and boards the bachelor bus anyway. When Tammie later texts, "There is no wedding. I am done," he reads this aloud for his pals, gets a good laugh from everyone and howls, "That's awesome!"

After receiving a good face pummeling from a bare-bottomed stripper, he gets a good smack in the head from Tammie when he arrives home at 3 a.m. Nevertheless, Danny tells the cameras he'd do it all over again.

Finally, party parents Alyssa and Tyler throw a laid-back pre-wedding BBQ and are shocked to see Alyssa's alchie stepmom arrive with her estranged hubby, Larry. They got back together yesterday, but it's back to square one when it's revealed that Mom gave Alyssa her wedding band to pay for her and Tyler's rings. Time to visit the pawn shop!

Which couple do you think is the least likely to make it to the altar?

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