'My Big Friggin' Wedding' Recap: Let's Paint a Stripper's Butt Orange!

Lauren Flynn Kelly

It's countdown time for the couples of MBFW and things are getting motherfriggin' tense.

Shockingly, the first couple to bite the bullet is Matt and Amanda (right). For once, they're getting along and nothing seems to stand in their way.

Okay, except maybe a random traffic-causing parade, Amanda's tardy mom, and Matt's whiny mother, who claims she'd rather be at home hugging her dawg and a bottle of vodka (bumper sticker alert!).

Once Matt meets his blushing bride, whose glam appearance even made me tear up, all is forgotten. Matt and Amanda finally exchange vows and "expensive" wedding rings, as Matt so tastefully points out during the ceremony.

Of course, Matt later tells the cameras he feels like he just sold his soul to the devil, but he redeems himself (for me anyway) when his surprise Lady Gaga impersonator turns this wedding into a full-blown party. Meanwhile, Amanda's new MIL is still being a total wet blanket, complaining that now that her son is hitched, all she has is a dawg and a cat. Boo hoo.

Continued from last week, Alyssa's mom is still "pretty much" dead in the Wawa dumpster, and this bachelorette doesn't know what to do. Hospital or club? She calls Mom's new deadbeat boyfriend and tells him to get his homewreckin' arse to the hospital, then hits the club and shows off some sloppy moves on the dance floor. The next day, Marilyn texts Tyler to extend an apology to her daughter. When mother and daughter finally do face off, Alyssa has to break it to Mom that she cannot walk her down the aisle (wait, I thought her beer-spilling estranged stepfather was?) and Grandpa will instead.

Party bus is here! Sandra and Joey, only 19 days from their big day, attend a joint bachelor/bachelorette bash, and luckily, no one's mother is in attendance. Unfortunately, the rest of Sandra's family is present and seems to be royally pissing off Joey. Before they even get to the club, a family feud breaks out for no apparent reason and yet another party train derails in a parking lot.

When Johnny's bachelor party rears its ugly head, Megin lays down a couple tall orders: No shots, no strippers, and a 2 a.m. curfew. Poor Johnny. There are only two people at his "bikini bullride" bash, so his buddy calls in a ringer or two to help the groom celebrate. Johnny takes a nice long bull ride, claiming, "At one point, I didn't know if she was riding the bull or she was riding me." Ay-oh! Curfew hits, shots have been taken, and he's suddenly painting a stripper's bare bottom orange. "As I'm squirtin', her butt is turning orange and gooey ... it was nice," he smiles.

Next week, it's Megin's turn to let loose. Hopefully, her party will be better attended than Johnny's!  

What's the most outrageous bachelor/bachelorette behavior you've witnessed?


Image via VH1

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