While snow seems to be dumping on most of the country, it is nothing but hot out here in Los Angeles. So let the Angeleno Ask Dad warm your cold, cold hearts. What's giving you chills?
My husband casually mentioned some people he knows at work who are swingers. He brought it up matter-of-factly, but I detected a note of serious interest! Could my husband actually be suggesting we become swingers!? What do I make of this!?
How fun! I've been wondering when that phenomenon would come back. Martinis, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Vince Vaughn, and Jon Favreau when they were younger and skinnier, "you're so money!" I love it! So what are you worried about? Afraid your husband will embarrass you on the dance floor?
Oh, wait. You mean the mustaches, jacuzzis, and key parties kind of swinger. Crap. That's a bit more complicated.
Have you considered that your husband is just being a shameless gossip? Yeah, it's not in the sex stereotypes we have, but most dudes adore them some gossip. I've been in poker games that had more "Oh my God, have you heard?" chatter than sewing circles. It just has to be extra extra juicy, like, say, "Some people at my work are swingers."
But if you think you've got the proper read on your man and he really is intrigued by this possibility, even my worldly self is a little scared for you. Not because of the moral or social implications. I think you should absolutely do whatever floats your boat, even if it flips the thing or floods it with disgusting fluids.
From what I know about swinger culture -- and I assure you it's all very secondhand -- the people involved are very, very, how to put this nicely ... nerdy.
See, it's an intense subculture, and like any subculture -- goths, comic book fans -- it just tends to attract a certain geekiness. This is great if you're looking for details on the origins of The Hulk. Not so much if you're looking for a proper lay.
If you've ever been a fan of the HBO series Real Sex, which ought to be called All-Too-Real Sex, you maybe have a sense of what I'm talking about. The people -- and God bless 'em for their comfort with their bodies and ours -- are just not that sexy. And they're not Cruise and Kidman in the looks department either.
But if your husband remains intrigued and you're not, try using these excuses.
Image via Flickr/Brennaval