What’s the latest from professional disaster Danny Bonaduce? Well, he may be starting a whole new wedding trend!
Yep, the man who got his start on The Partridge Family, became notorious for a hard-partying lifestyle, got in a fistfight with a tranny hooker, starred in a VH1 reality show, and married his second wife on their first (blind) date … has wed for a third time and in an unexpected style wedding ceremony even he didn't expect.
That's right. His now-third-wife threw Danny a surprise wedding! As in, "Surprise! It's our wedding day today!"
Is the "surprise wedding" the worst idea ever?
Actually, it seems like in this case, Bonaduce was game. He had promised to marry Amy Railsback, whom he’s been dating since his 2007 divorce (filed the same month they started dating), but was dragging his feet, and said explicitly that as long as she did the legwork, he’d walk down the aisle.
Amy had been doing the legwork when a wedding planner inadvertently let Bonaduce in on the secret, and he reports that he thought it was a great idea.
To which I say: All right. Very good for you, Amy Railsback! But woe on any other woman who thinks a surprise wedding is a good way to march a long-time boyfriend down the aisle. That’s called an ambush, and if that’s the only way you can scare someone into becoming committed, you are in the wrong relationship.
There’s so much talk lately that gay marriage is supposedly some kind of threat to heterosexual marriage. Isn’t this kind of gimmicky approach to marriage and what is supposed to be a lifetime commitment more of a threat to the institution?
Apparently Fox TV didn’t think so back in 2000. The Bonaduce wedding story immediately reminded me of the Fox TV show, Surprise Wedding. Yes, I watched it. It was ... amazing. And I have often wondered what happened to the four (FOUR!!) couples who appeared on the show.
Think about what marriage is: A contract that, the moment you sign it, gives you each access to half the other’s stuff. A commitment that can have one spouse writing big checks to the other long after the divorce, even if no kids happen. A business merger that most people enter into blindly, insisting that it’s unromantic to plan otherwise.
It’s no wonder the failure rate is 50% and rising.
With the cards stacked against you this way, do you really want to add the drama of springing it on a dude who’s already shown resistance?
Frankly, I never understood the tendency of various women of my acquaintance to give their long-term boyfriends ultimatums, or nag them into getting wed. Really? That’s how you want to go down the aisle? You want to spend your life with someone who was so horrified at the idea of marrying you that he went out with his friends and got stinking drunk the night before?
Sigh. I know I sound like an old curmudgeon, but my first marriage was a disaster because I got swept up in “must be married by 30” madness. I bought into the whole wedding industry, insisted on being a princess for a day. It was fun, but in retrospect, I should have just thrown a party and not tried to peg it to a lifelong commitment. Because the two had nothing to do with each other.
By the way, I’m all for surprise weddings that both the bride and groom are in on. My cousin did this to avoid her mom’s mother-of-the-bride drama, and it was the best garden party ever.
Do you think that if you have to surprise a guy with a wedding, it’s a sign that the wedding shouldn’t happen at all?
Image courtesy of fashion photographer Anthony Citrano