Slutty Holiday Cards for Lovers, Hook-ups & FWBs

April Peveteaux
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dirty christmas cardsWhile you're licking and stamping those family holiday cards, why not think about shaking up the holidays of your more intimate acquaintances? Imagine the joy and pleasure the recipient of a really slutty card will feel after picking up his or her jaw off the floor.

So you don't get busted at work, I've found some of the funniest, most outrageous, and all-around entertaining sexy holiday cards for you to order with one click. You are welcome.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Get a nasty laugh with these handmade cards from Sidepony with gold metallic envelopes ($4 each/3 for $12). Classy! In case you want to go for some subtlety, you should also pick up her Hope Your Holiday Isn't Frigid card with snowflake motif.

dirty christmas cardsHoliday Party Etiquette

It's just a small step from innocent to downright dirty when you bust out the mistletoe at a party, as this card illustrates ($4.45). Add in a saucy note about where you'd like to see the mistletoe for optimal naughtiness.

dirty christmas cardsPervy Santa

Because some people have a very specific fetish. Let the Santa porn rip ($2.95).

dirty christmas cardsParty Grope

If you want to send an ecard, and you want to sexually harass a co-worker (don't say I didn't warn you about the consequences), this open invitation for office holiday party groping is free and easy. Just like you!

dirty christmas cardsSanta/Prostitute

If you want to combine your hos with your Santa fetish, this is the card for you ($4.50):

OUTSIDE:
For Christmas this year, you'll be getting a visit from someone with big black boots, a giving spirit, and lots of fun toys.

INSIDE:
That's right! A prostitute!

 

Do you send naughty holiday cards?


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