Walmart's Toy Aisle & Other Popular Places to Masturbate

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Everyone masturbates. It's just one of those facts of life people don't talk about, but we all know to be true.

But men? Men do it on a whole other level.

Like this guy, for instance. William Tyler Black of Florida was caught jacking off at Wal-Mart. In the toy aisle. With a Sports Illustrated swimsuit magazine.

Never mind that the guy was clearly looking like a pedophile. What could have been running through his head? Something like this, I'd imagine: "Gee, this magazine slightly turns me on, so much that I can't wait until I get home to my nice comfy bed and tube socks. I think I'll just wank off here. No one will notice!"

But hey! He's not alone. Turns out many women have caught their men (and some other women's men) spanking the old monkey in some pretty bizarre places. All these were compiled by anonymous friends and sources. They include:

  • Work breaks: "A friend of a friend's hubs used to do it in his car on breaks from work. Like every day or something. Then he got caught and double busted cause where he parked was sort of near a school," says an anonymous friend.
  • Train platform: I myself witnessed a man jacking off on a train platform in Verona, Italy. He "sprayed" the results all over the window of my train car. Truly gross.
  • Anywhere: "You mean there are places a man can't masturbate?" asks an anonymous (male) friend.
  • Buses in Mexico: "I had a guy on a bus sitting next to me who tried to pretend he spilled water in his lap."
  • On the highway:
  1. "I saw a man driving through downtown Atlanta (eight-lane highway mind you). It was 8 a.m. and he had a porn magazine on the steering wheel. It was quite obvious he wasn't just reading the articles!"
  2. "A man driving on Mass Pike almost in Albany showed Polaroid photos of himself naked to me while we were both driving 65-70 mph and jerked it with the other hand ... I saw the tell-tale shoulder movement and up and downishness. That is an experienced knee driver!"
  • Planes: "I once caught my husband jerking it on an overnight plane to Ireland. It made our week-long trip kind of sexless. I was so annoyed."
  • Shower: "I'm a stay-at-home mom so my husband just does it in the shower cause I'm always home so he doesn't want me and our son accidentally walking in on him."

OK, so we have established that men are weird. And while women have also been known to pick some pretty strange spots to get themselves off, It seems the guys have us beat(en off).

Have you ever caught your/a man in the act?

 

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sex, sex secret

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arabi... arabianwolf

Not everybody masturabtes so your article is flawed and stupid.

jmtmn jmtmn

I once saw a guy do it on a Metro Train in Paris. I was 22 and studying abroad and was with another girl in my program who was only 18 and she was truely tramatized. It took weeks for her to ride the Metro again without getting nervous. Also, arabianwolf, yea right.

sweet... sweetheart1985

Woaah! Looks like arabianwolf is a little defensive!!


Yeah! You're stupid!! LOL


Anyway... yeah. When I was in Job Corps, the men pretty much talked about jacking off in the showers. Luckily there were partitions... ick. I would not want to stand in those showers. I don't care if you say that's conditioner. I don't believe you!!

Karen... KarenOlsen

i bet arbianwolf is a fun girl!


"Hey Al Gore - Not everyone breathes air so your theory is flawed and stupid."

thedg... thedgoddess

There are people who DO NOT masterbate? Really?  STUPID.


seriously, though, if you can't enjoy it by yourself, how can you enjoy it with others? Yeah, I've walked in on my husband. Big deal.

LadyJ... LadyJessica4715

Masterbating in public is just wrong. Yes, even in your car it is still public. If you or your husband has a penchant for needing to jerk off in places like this, get some help! Getting off in public places is sick. And makes you look like a pervert. Which you probably are if you're into that type of thing. I do understand that some couples like doing it in a place where they MIGHT get caught and get off on that, but masterbating in public is a different thing.


arabiawolf is probably one of these people.

Shanin22 Shanin22

My husband recently admitted to me that he does it in the bed next to me while I'm sleeping. Actually I'm kinda surprised he has the balls to do it right where I could roll over and catch him (and that it hasn't woken me up, lol). But, what do I care? As long as he keeps it off my comforter, he can have his "me" time all he wants.


And arabianwolf sounds a little bitter... sexual frustration perhaps? Might I suggest a nice vibrator and a little "you" time to blow off some of that anger? ;)

nonmember avatar kalmmom

Ha - I bet arabianwolf thinks no one likes porn either

I was 16 and was leaving my job and walked past a car in the parking lot of Kmart with a guy going at it - guess he got bored while waiting on his wife to finish the christmas shopping!

nonmember avatar HonestAbe

I completely agree with arabianwolf. I have never masturbated in my life. And I'm a guy! I'm happily married with a great sex life. It may be rare but there are those that have never masturbated.

nonmember avatar anna

Yes, there are folks out there who don't masturbate - I'm one of them. I'm not gonna judge the rest of the world for doing so, and I don't think the article as a whole is stupid for assuming everyone does.

But we do exist, and most of us are quite happy, thank you. In my case, it's not religiosity or prudishness or anything, I just don't care for it. To those who do, I wish you many fantastic orgasms. :)

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