Everyone masturbates. It's just one of those facts of life people don't talk about, but we all know to be true.
But men? Men do it on a whole other level.
Like this guy, for instance. William Tyler Black of Florida was caught jacking off at Wal-Mart. In the toy aisle. With a Sports Illustrated swimsuit magazine.
Never mind that the guy was clearly looking like a pedophile. What could have been running through his head? Something like this, I'd imagine: "Gee, this magazine slightly turns me on, so much that I can't wait until I get home to my nice comfy bed and tube socks. I think I'll just wank off here. No one will notice!"
But hey! He's not alone. Turns out many women have caught their men (and some other women's men) spanking the old monkey in some pretty bizarre places. All these were compiled by anonymous friends and sources. They include:
- Work breaks: "A friend of a friend's hubs used to do it in his car on breaks from work. Like every day or something. Then he got caught and double busted cause where he parked was sort of near a school," says an anonymous friend.
- Train platform: I myself witnessed a man jacking off on a train platform in Verona, Italy. He "sprayed" the results all over the window of my train car. Truly gross.
- Anywhere: "You mean there are places a man can't masturbate?" asks an anonymous (male) friend.
- Buses in Mexico: "I had a guy on a bus sitting next to me who tried to pretend he spilled water in his lap."
- On the highway:
- "I saw a man driving through downtown Atlanta (eight-lane highway mind you). It was 8 a.m. and he had a porn magazine on the steering wheel. It was quite obvious he wasn't just reading the articles!"
- "A man driving on Mass Pike almost in Albany showed Polaroid photos of himself naked to me while we were both driving 65-70 mph and jerked it with the other hand ... I saw the tell-tale shoulder movement and up and downishness. That is an experienced knee driver!"
- Planes: "I once caught my husband jerking it on an overnight plane to Ireland. It made our week-long trip kind of sexless. I was so annoyed."
- Shower: "I'm a stay-at-home mom so my husband just does it in the shower cause I'm always home so he doesn't want me and our son accidentally walking in on him."
OK, so we have established that men are weird. And while women have also been known to pick some pretty strange spots to get themselves off, It seems the guys have us beat(en off).
Have you ever caught your/a man in the act?
Image via Facebook