Who's That Loser Next to Me?The former Mrs. Parker, and current Eva Longoria has been staying out of the headlines since her divorce, but that hasn't stopped lots of other people from stepping up and letting loose about her. Shocking, I know.
However, due to all these chatty Cathys, here are five things we can assume about the Desperate Housewives' love life:
1. What's so weird about a romantic dinner with your soon-to-be ex-husband where you rub his head?
2. I don't date douchebags. Oh wait, apparently I did. But I'm not going to date this douchebag.
3. I have a fool-proof plan to keep sexting other people out of my next relationship: Unplugged Sundays. And Saturdays, and Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.
4. In truth, being single and scandalous has been the best thing for my career love life.
5. Whomever I start dating next, please, please, please let's not combine my name with his and start calling us by a cutesy nickname. PLEASE.
Image via LGEPR/Flickr