Here's What Your Guy Is Buying You This Holiday

Jeanne Sager

christmas presentI didn't think I could find a worse gift at the holidays than a 1950s-style Susie Homemaker present from the hubby. Think a new vacuum cleaner, an iron, or, ewww, an apron!

I was wrong.

Hey, that guy's clueless, but at least he thinks he's buying for his wife. The guys who buy gifts for their wives and girlfriends that are really gifts for, well, him take the cake.

And in case you're wondering, there's a 4 in 10 shot that your guy is one of them. So let's best them at their own game, eh ladies?

The following is the top 10 list of gifts guys buy "for us" with the ulterior motive of enjoying it themselves. With a few minor adjustments, they make wonderful gifts for us. Is that a glass half full or what?

1. DVDs -- Gather them up, then tell him you have a brilliant plan. Warner Bros. is offering Blu-Ray DVDs in their collection for just $4.95 if you trade in old versions. There goes that collection of old war movies on traditional DVD. See how he likes it.

2. Digital camera -- I'm having a hard time faulting him on this one. He may use it to take photos of his beer can tower or his dead deer, but there's this wonderful thing called "download and delete" that allows you to truly share this gift. Of course, if you feel like he's always taking it out and never bringing it home, a few photos of you in provocative poses saved in the memory may force him to leave it home so his boys don't get a gander of the goods.

3. Laptop -- Run out and find a hot pink laptop skin, and this will never leave the house in his truck. This will not prevent him from using at home, mind you, but load a Hello Kitty wallpaper, set the browser homepage to The Stir, and you're on your way!

4. Tickets to a concert/event -- He's got to be a moron if he thinks he can pass off two tickets to the Monster Truck Rally as something "for you." But you can look at this two ways: have a miserable time or surprise the heck out of him by agreeing to step out of your element and having a kick ass time. They always say you should spice up date night by doing something you've never done before -- it could lead to the hottest sex of your relationship. And that's a win for everyone.

5. A weekend away -- How romantic! Quick, hit the web and start booking couples' massages and dinner theater outings before he can line up tee times and charter fishing excursions. If he even thinks about packing his clubs, inform him that will take up all the room you had set aside for your new outfits from Victoria's Secret.

6. A holiday -- Not sure how this differs from above? If they're being literal that he's planning a holiday for you, ensure it's spent in the bedroom.

7. iPod -- Visit iTunes immediately and begin with the girl power music. Pink. Helen Reddy. Gloria Gaynor. You'll have it filled up in no time.

8. Nintendo Wii -- What does he mean he isn't into dancing to Ke$ha? Stack the deck with your favorite games, and either he'll play them or he won't. His loss, not yours.

9. Computer -- Much the same ways you deal with a laptop work for the bigger home PC. Or you could just be happy he spent big money on something nice for the house. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

10. TV -- Sign up for streaming Netflix immediately, and start filling the instant queue with every chick flick you can find. Allow yourself one Christmas cookie for every old episode of Sex and the City that you find on there. Then remind him you've always wanted to see Jacob with his shirt off on the big screen.

Would you want any of these gifts?

Image via Nadya Peek/Flickr

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