The first thing I thought when I read Raheem DeVaughn has a pro-cunnilingus message in his X-rated new music video, "Single," was decidedly un-feminist. Does this guy really think he's going to get people to watch this thing?
Excuse me for doubting the power of the viral video, but we are stuck with a double standard. Oral sex on men is the subject of countless blow job jokes and double entendres. Oral sex on a woman is something done only in private.
Take the hullabaloo just this past summer when the media acted like the world was going to end if The Good Wife showed Julianna Margulies getting a little downtown action from her husband. There was no actual mouth on vagina action shown, and these were two consenting adults, two married adults no less, but ... but ... but it's primetime network TV.
Now compare that to last year, when James Franco got a blow job -- from Liberace no less -- on Saturday Night Live and no one said a word. It was primetime, and it was network television.
There are limited oral sex scenes on women that have cropped up. Californication, with David Duchovny "stretching" to play a sex addict, had one if I recall. But you tell us how they show a sex addict without cunnilingus at some point, and we'll have to ask if you've ever actually had sex.
It hardly counts.
And some of the scenes have come with serious ick factors. Try season 4 of Weeds, when 17-year-old Silas goes down on the neighbor kid's mom in her cheese shop. In a show that's gained a reputation for over-the-top raunch, this scene falls securely in the top five ickiest. He's a MINOR for cripes sakes.
We'll strike that one off right now.
So what gives? I can't help thinking it's in part because of women's own attitudes toward the act.
Ever had a girlfriend tell you she finds it icky? You'll tell her she's insane for not taking him up on the offer, but if she thinks it, well, how do you expect society to think otherwise?
There's a distinct difference between fellatio and cunnilingus that even open-minded DeVaughn thinks about. "If your girl is clean and deserving, why not?" he told Vibe.
Ah, there it is. Vaginas are dark, damp places. They have scents (some good, some bad). We have to wonder: does he think it smells? Does he think it's too wet? Did the waxer miss anything?
A penis, on the other hand, is pretty dry and clean. It sticks out. It's easy to get a hold of. And whether you, ahem, spit or swallow, you never need to get it on your nose.
It's why ladies are self-conscious, and why it's still freaking out the viewers. Fortunately, we've got guys like DeVaughn on our side.
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