Meeting the Parents -- 'Tis the Season for Horror

Brittny Drye

thanksgiving dinnerNow with Thanksgiving out of the way, we can say that we’ve officially made it through round one of the holiday season. Other than coming out a few pounds heavier and several dollars poorer, you probably survived for the most part. Unless of course, you were introduced to your significant other’s family for the first time and it didn’t exactly pan out as you had imagined, making you wish you could trade places with the dead bird on the table.

It's funny how we all think we have the craziest families (after all, who could beat out Grandpa's dentures trick?) until we are introduced into another family dynamic and it goes wrong. You might have made it out alive but those awkward moments will haunt you for years. But hey, it happens to the best of us, so I asked my friends to share some of their most horrifying meet-and-greets of the parentals. These should make you feel better:

The first time I met a girlfriend’s parents, I somehow managed to flood the toilet and get into a political argument. All within 10 minutes. Though I should note that the two incidents were not connected.

My boyfriend’s dad has a tendency to be inappropriately blunt, and I found this out within the first 30 minutes of meeting them. We met for dinner at a fancy restaurant, and I had worn a silk blouse. Well, it was rather cold in the restaurant, and even with a bra, I was noticeably cold. Well, his father saw this and said loudly, “Want my jacket? Your nips are showing.” Thought I was going to die.

When I met my fiancee’s mom for the first time, it was in the middle of a really bad ice storm and we had to crash at her parents’ house. Her mom specifically said that we could not sleep in the same room, so I respectfully slept on the living room couch, while my girlfriend slept in her old bedroom. The next morning, I was woken up to her mom yelling at us -- my rebellious girlfriend had snuck into the living room in the middle of the night and fell asleep next to me. I didn’t even realize she had done so! It wasn’t pretty.

I was thrown into the shark tank the first time I met my girlfriend’s parents. Our first meeting was during Thanksgiving, and not only was I meeting mom and dad, but also Grandma, Grandpa, and tons of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Of course, the morning of, I woke up with a huge zit on my nose that made me look comparable to Rudolph. When we all sat down, her father introduced me to the entire table by saying, “Jess has brought two friends with her to join us -- Mike and Mike’s nose.” I turned as red as the cranberry sauce.

My boyfriend had told me that his dad was a Vietnam vet, but failed to mention that he had lost his leg in the war. I was completely taken for surprise when I was first introduced to him and instinctually had this horrified look on my face before I was able to pull myself together. I felt so bad! A little heads up would’ve been nice.

It was the summer of my sophomore year of college and I decided to stay around the university for an internship. There was a period of about 3 weeks where I didn't have my own place (new lease starting, school year ending, dates didn't match up) so I was crashing with three guy acquaintances. Since most people my year didn't stick around for the summer, I was out with some older students (new fresh fake ID in tow), went to a local bar, made the mistake of stubbornly "keeping up with the boys" beer for beer, and to make a long story short, ended up in the bushes of a neighborhood resident's front yard. After hiding in the bush for a good hour (don't ask me what from), I called the guy I was seeing at the time to save me. Oh, did I forget to mention I didn't have keys to my new crashpad, and all of my roomies were passed out drunk? Yeah, well that happened. Anyway, the guy, a native of Chicago, drove all the way from his house to come help me, but after an hour of being unable to reach any of my roommates and me drunkenly trying to escape from his car at a White Hen, he decided the only option left was to take my belligerent drunken self to his house 40 minutes away from the university. I woke up the next morning in heels looking like a hot mess, stumbled out of the weird bedroom I woke up in, and as soon as my eyes adjusted to the light, realized I was face-to-face with the guy's parents.... they had no idea I was there. We started dating officially a year later. Best girlfriend ever.

What was your most horrifying meet the parents experience?


Image via NealeA/Flickr

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