Is Ogling Other Women a Dumpable Offense?

Jessica Bern
5

rubber duck

My boyfriend often makes favorable comments about other women's looks to me. I've told him it makes me uncomfortable, but he says I'm being overly sensitive. Is it me?

Signed,

I Don't Get Him


Dear I Don't Get Him:

I honest-to-God sat here trying to figure out if my own boyfriend was constantly commenting on another woman’s looks, would it have me wondering if perhaps he wasn’t losing interest in me and the only thought that came into my head was, “F**k yeah!”

Feel better? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Sorry.

Perhaps if he commented on another woman’s outfit, that would be okay, although I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t want it to be followed by a vow to set aside a five million-dollar trust fund for me, should he ever die, even if it were because I accidentally strangled him.

I’m not the jealous type, but to have the man I love, or who at least ties me up and screams, “Someone’s been very very bad” while fondling me every now and again (sue me, I’m a dreamer), constantly pointing out the loveliness of other women would definitely keep me on edge and, frankly, I have enough anxiety in my life. I am a single mother and a Jew without a housekeeper, so as you can see, I’m a bit overwhelmed at the moment, and the last thing I need is Bobby the boyfriend constantly reminding me that I’m “expendable.”

I would ask your boyfriend why he does it. To ask him to just stop would be another option but in my case that wouldn’t work. You see, every time we passed by a hot looking chick and he didn’t say anything, I’d wanna yell, “I know what you’re thinking. She’s hot, she’s got long legs, love her eyes" -- am I right?

You see, this is why I would ask him straight up why he feels compelled to tell you these things. If he tells you he’s just an observant kind of guy, then take him to a local museum and show him some pretty pictures and see how "observant” he is then. If he tells you he is unaware that he was even doing it and then apologizes for hurting your feelings and promises to stop, give the guy a break. If the next time you are with him he makes a remark about Ms. Luscious Lips standing outside your local Starbucks, tell him you need to go home alone and will be in touch with him again as soon as they find life on Mars.

Now those are only two of the many possible reasons why your boyfriend is behaving this way, but remember the old saying, “If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, it’s bull**t” ... or something like that.

 

Are you a single mom with a question about dating/sex/love? Or do you just want to try to trip Jessica up? Leave her a question in comments or you can write to her directly at bernzee@mac.com.

Read More