Giving Thanks for Love and Sex Toys

What do you give thanks for when it's your turn to speak as you're sitting around the table during the holiday dinner?

If you're sitting at the Thanksgiving table with Grandpa and Grandma, Uncle Brad and Aunt Suzi, you're probably giving thanks that they're all able to be a part of the celebration, thanks for your health, your many life blessings, and all of those most definitely important things.

But here are 15 love and sex-related things you might be giving thanks for, if not out loud at the Thanksgiving table then at least in your head:

1. Sex toys made with phthalate-free materials.

2. Long lasting sexual chemistry.

3. The high literary quality of contemporary erotica.

4. Happy marriages and fulfilling, intimate relationships.

5. A husband who cooks. And who cooks well.

6. Soft porn that's free with your premium cable subscription.

7. Orgasms that can be multiple and frequently are.

8. Natural aphrodisiacs such as oysters and the aroma of pumpkin pie.

9. Daytime sex.

10. A husband or boyfriend who puts the toilet seat down.

11. The sexual spontaneity enabled by a vasectomy.

12. The slimming effects of Spanx.

13. Karen Owen's Duke University sex gaffe (makes others' experiences seem tame).

14. Not being an eproctophiliac (one who is turned on by flatulence).

15. The opposite sex not having the ability to read minds.

What are you thankful for that can't be repeated at the family Thanksgiving dinner table?

Image via The Gifted Photographer/Flickr