Is Your Ex-Husband Your BFF?

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Three peopleDoes your ex-husband waltz through the door of your house without ringing the bell?

Does he come into your kitchen where your "current" husband is cooking dinner and take scraps of food off of the cutting board?

Or better yet, dip a spoon in to taste whatever's cooking on the stove?

Mine does. And I don't mind. Neither does my husband.

Sure it was a little awkward at first, after I re-married. Okay, very awkward.

Especially since I still live in the house that I used to share with my ex-husband. (We have two kids together and joint custody.)

And sure it was a little off-putting when my ex would sit down on the couch, put his feet up on the coffee table, and change the channels. Well, not so bad for me, but for my husband.

In the beginning, my husband would excuse himself and mumble something about having to go upstairs and pluck his nose hairs. And then stay up there until he heard the chirp of the alarm system when the front door was open and the coast was clear.

Or my husband would just plan on not being home when the ex stopped by to pick up or drop off the kids.

Because then my ex-husband and I would talk for a little bit about what was going on with him, with me, with our kids, and with all of the mutual things we shared because we USED to be married. And used to be is the key here.

I like my ex-husband. He's a good person and a good father. He just wasn't the right person for me. And I do truly care about him. But I could understand how my husband might feel a little uncomfortable with the guy hanging around too much.

Over time, the three of us have managed to work through the awkwardness and settle in to the reality. Because the reality is that the three of us are bound by marriages past, present, and hopefully future for my ex. And being on friendly terms is good for everybody.

Just last weekend, when my ex came by to see the kids, my husband, who was in the kitchen cooking up some fajitas, called out to the ex, "Hey, why don't you come make a plate for yourself?"

And that's one of the many reasons why I married him.

What's your situation with your ex?

 

Image via NazarethCollege/Flickr


divorce, marriage, home life