Is Your Ex-Husband Your BFF?

6

Three peopleDoes your ex-husband waltz through the door of your house without ringing the bell?

Does he come into your kitchen where your "current" husband is cooking dinner and take scraps of food off of the cutting board?

Or better yet, dip a spoon in to taste whatever's cooking on the stove?

Mine does. And I don't mind. Neither does my husband.

Sure it was a little awkward at first, after I re-married. Okay, very awkward.

Especially since I still live in the house that I used to share with my ex-husband. (We have two kids together and joint custody.)

And sure it was a little off-putting when my ex would sit down on the couch, put his feet up on the coffee table, and change the channels. Well, not so bad for me, but for my husband.

In the beginning, my husband would excuse himself and mumble something about having to go upstairs and pluck his nose hairs. And then stay up there until he heard the chirp of the alarm system when the front door was open and the coast was clear.

Or my husband would just plan on not being home when the ex stopped by to pick up or drop off the kids.

Because then my ex-husband and I would talk for a little bit about what was going on with him, with me, with our kids, and with all of the mutual things we shared because we USED to be married. And used to be is the key here.

I like my ex-husband. He's a good person and a good father. He just wasn't the right person for me. And I do truly care about him. But I could understand how my husband might feel a little uncomfortable with the guy hanging around too much.

Over time, the three of us have managed to work through the awkwardness and settle in to the reality. Because the reality is that the three of us are bound by marriages past, present, and hopefully future for my ex. And being on friendly terms is good for everybody.

Just last weekend, when my ex came by to see the kids, my husband, who was in the kitchen cooking up some fajitas, called out to the ex, "Hey, why don't you come make a plate for yourself?"

And that's one of the many reasons why I married him.

What's your situation with your ex?

 

Image via NazarethCollege/Flickr


divorce, marriage, home life

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ethan... ethans_momma06

IF I were to ever get divoriced (which I hope and pray never happens), that is the sort of relationship I would want to have with him. Of course, a lot of things come in to play with the dissolution of a marriage, so if I am ever in that position, who knows.

Armym... Armymom134

I have no idea where my ex husband went after we got divorced, nor do I care and I would not want him around either. We don't have any kids together which makes a difference, if we did have kids together I don't think I could stand him walking into my house and putting his feet on our coffee table and changing the TV channels, my husband would probably knock him into next week, just as I don't feel comfortable being around DH's ex wife and they share three kids together.


I guess it is conditional on what kind of terms people are on with their ex's as to what is comfortable and uncomfortable.

Starg... Stargatesg1girl

why is there a picture of michael park on this article he used to play jack on atwt

nonmember avatar kalmmom

I have that kind of relationship with my ex - it makes such an incredible difference in raising our kids and the day to day tasks that come with kids. I am currently single but when I am dating someone they always seem okay with it and wish that they could be friends with their ex baby mama's too.
Like you said you are bound together by past marriages and children so you might as well make the best of it.

nonmember avatar petite_abeille

Wow! That's really awesome. I wish! I'm going through a divorce right now, separated and waiting for the divorce to be finalized. We are very amicable towards each other, but we haven't spoken in 2 months, because it was emotionally draining and confusing every time we met. I realized we weren't right for each other, but he was still attached to me. I know one day he too will realize we weren't right together. I hope and pray that one day we can have that same kind of relationship that you and your ex-husband have, even though we don't have children to keep us in contact with each other regularly. Right now though, it's too soon and the line is very thin, as I would still need to reject his advances. But one day hopefully... Thanks for sharing your story, it's so refreshing to see people who not only don't tear each other apart after the divorce, but have also managed to grow into a beautiful friendship.

This-... This-one-girl

Same story here!  I think it's great how many exes are getting along.  It's great that when your now husband accepts the situation and is fine with it, that makes him so much better and you love him even more. 

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