Election season's over! In honor of political scandals being swept back under the rug until next November's mud-slinging, Americans have full permission to get kinky like the politicians.
And the impetus comes from the strangest of places: China. They finally got real Internet porn this year, so it should be no surprise the people of the people's republic are shipping out sex dolls of President Obama for the masses to mack on our commander in chief.
We'd say you can sleep with the president ... if it didn't sound so wrong.
True, it's no worse than the Obama vibrator (pictured) that came out last year, but in light of the actual election results this week, they may want to cut their production short. We can think of some other politicians who will sell better than the president:
Kirsten Gillibrand. The newly elected Democratic Senator from New York State is the hottest member of the Senate, at least according to her (just re-elected) colleague, Harry Reid. We tend to agree: the junior Senator is one hot mama.
President Bill Clinton. There was something sexy enough about him to get an intern under his desk doing naughty things ... that spark is in there somewhere. Besides, Bubba's slimmed back down to fighting weight, spurred by his daughter's wedding this year and a busy election season running around on behalf of the Democrats.
Marco Rubio. Florida voters are betting the 38-year-old son of migrants who escaped Fidel Castro's Cuba will be more than a pretty face in the Senate for them next year. But we can't discount how pretty that face is!
Scott Brown. Remember that naked photo spread in Cosmo? It didn't turn Massachusetts voters off in his race to Congress ... but it may have turned a few of them on.
Sarah Palin. Ahem, people I know actually admitted to voting for the McCain/Palin ticket in 2008 because they found that whole hot librarian shtick irresistible. Not to mention she was a beauty queen back in the day. It's inevitable people.
Joshua Svaty. The Kansan jumped from the state legislature to the Department of Agriculture last year, but we're still counting his sweet smile for the political side.
Gavin Newsom. The new lieutenant governor of California has his own Facebook group named, simply, Gavin Newsom Is Sexy. We quite agree -- whether it's because of his activism on behalf of the gay citizenry or his cheekbones.
Which politician would make you ignore politics for a night in the sack?