Most Outrageous First Date Deal-Breakers


guy in suitLast week, I had one of those amazing first dates that continued to give you butterflies long after the first drink had been consumed. One in which we had so much in common, that it felt like we had known each other for months.

And then the topic of body piercings/tattoos came up. I pulled up my hair to show him my most recent ink on the back of my neck. (I have two tats, mind you, both of which are tiny and discreet.) Suddenly he abruptly said, "Yeah, I can't date a girl who has a tattoo." And that was that.

Seriously? Are you joking?

Nope. Apparently tattoos, no matter how few, hidden, or small they may be, was a complete deal-breaker for him. Which, living in NYC, good luck to that guy trying to find his one and only.

We parted ways without further plans of ever seeing each other again. It boggled my mind that he was willing to give up on an otherwise amazing date just because of one little form of self-expression. Though, pot calling the kettle black here, I do admit to breaking the deal if tighty whities make an appearance.

Everyone has their own picky quirks, so I polled my girlfriends to see what the most ridiculous deal-breakers were that left them scorned (and which ones they broke men's hearts because of):

  • My friend was dumped because she doesn't drink. She's okay with other people drinking, so it's not like she told the guy she disapproved of his lifestyle. She just simply said she didn't drink.
  • I had a guy break up with me for eating commercial foods and not shopping at a co-op.
  • I used to refuse to date any guy who would dare wear tennis shoes (gym shoes, not cool sneakers) with jeans. Just couldn't get past it!
  • I stopped dating a guy because he wasn't a fan of Kanye OR Lil Wayne. I don't see how a fan of hip-hop wouldn't at least like one of those.
  • I know somebody who won't date anyone who hasn't read Harry Potter (I may start applying this rule myself).
  • I know a guy who doesn't date people who don't drink alcohol, recovering alcoholics aside. He said that he doesn't trust people who don't drink. (Hey, maybe that's the guy from the one above!)
  • I was making fun of Ashton Kutcher on a first date and it turned out he was the guy's frat bro -- he cut the date short because he was so mad at me.
  • Call me shallow. Met a guy about my age when I was out one time several years ago. He was wearing a baseball cap. Met him out a couple of times more and agreed to go on a date with him. When he picked me up, the hat was not on. He was verrrry balding. I couldn't handle it. I tried to deal with it but couldn't. I'm awful.
  • I had a friend that went to pick up her date and he was in the bedroom when she got there. When he came out, he was wearing a shiny silver shirt! She went on the date to be nice but ultimately it was a deal-breaker. "Shiny shirt" became a deal-breaker for both of us!
  • I have a few: bad shoes, small hands, or a lunch order that includes a Diet Coke and a salad. Maybe this is why I'm single?

So tell me ... what's the most ridiculous deal-breaker you've ever heard of?


Image via tenaciousme/Flickr

breakups, dating


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Wow.  Ummm... when I was like,  14,  I broke up with a guy because he had horrible taste in clothing and shoes.  And he was an incredibly embarrassing dancer and was just plain obnoxious.  But the shoes were REALLY bad.

Then I became a grown up.  :)

Debbie E. Connett

BAD TEETH...was a top date breaker...there is no reason in the world for someone in our day and age to NOT brush thier teeth....ewwww just seeing those dirty teeth....ugh!!!!

CafeM... CafeMochaMom1

Hi Brittany,

Tatoos don't bother me and I've seen many New York guys that have them. However, the deal breaker for me is a guy that takes a girl on a date and orders the most expensive foods on the menu like shrimp cocktail, Steak & Lobster for the entree and some really expensive dessert and coffee and then expects to go Dutch on the tab.



madfoot madfoot

Cute tattoo! Is it the NYC skyline? I'd say a good deal-breaker is a guy who has a douchey deal-breaker.

Kimberly Virga

HAHAHA some of these comments are so funny! I have 11 tattoos, so your date probably would have run from me like I had the plague! I dont' really have any deal breakers. I thought my deal breaker might be guys who wear gold, chain-like necklaces and use a LOT of hair gel, however when my now husband picked me up on our first date wearing his three gold chains with crosses and whatever other religious icon, his hair maxed out on gel and a t-shirt that said "Welcome to the Gun Show", for some reason I didnt turn and run... thank GOD! Love of my life! lol

MomIWant MomIWant

I think you know when you have found the right guy because all your deal breakers don't matter anymore.  I married my deal breaker (tighty-whities)  - hahaha (you just slip a new pair of boxers in his underwear drawer and remove one pair of tighties!)


Thanks madfoot! Yup, it's the NYC skyline -- designed it myself! :-)

nonmember avatar Christine

I have never had "deal breakers". In a husband I wanted honesty, love, and a romantic like me. Most importantly I wanted a man I could be my 100% dorky self around and that is why he loved me. I found just the man :) Physical features or quirks never were an issue for me because I have my own to deal with and if some one loves me for me I am going to love them for them!

Jessica Freiberg Merz

On date with guy who seemed ideal EXCEPT he kept tripping off my gaydar! He even said some of his girlfriends say they first thought he was gay but how he was definitely STRAIGHT. I gave him 2nd date but my brain was screaming, "He's gay!" So I didn't go out again. He was hurt, I felt bad, but... it just didn't feel right!

Another guy I met online and we agreed to meet at a local brewpub. He'd gotten there early and already drank a yard. When I got there he ordered another yard. Uh... dude. Then found out he was a HUGE fan of my father's rock band and had figured out my father's identity because of my last name. He sang one of there songs to me over and over. Bye bye.

Then I got rejected by a guy because I'd dated a couple of black guys in the past (I'm not black). He was disgusted, as was I, with his attitude. A few weeks later he emailed to say he thought maybe he was willing to look past it. Uh, NO.

Addys... Addys_Mom

Call me shallow but i cant date a guy who is shorter than me. im 5'3 and once dated a guy who was a couple inches shorter than me. i broke it off after a couple weeks cause i felt like i was kissing my little brother with how short he was. it was just not normal! and i also have a problem with super sensitive guys. sensitive is ok but the "i wrote you a poem, let me recite it for you as i choke back tears of love and joy after two weeks of dating" guy does not work for me.

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