Have you ever been in a relationship where you thought that you knew your partner? Really truly knew them intimately. Their personalities, their dreams, and their wishes?
And then, bam. They do something that completely knocks you flat on your behind in shock.
Like go on a drunken rage because you ate the last piece of salami in the refrigerator.
So, how do you know if what you see is what you get with the person you've been dating or are married to? Can you ever know?
And I'm not referring to someone like Charlie Sheen. His past behavior was laid out for Brooke Mueller in black and white with flashing red neon lights surrounding it.
I'm talking about people who present themselves as having one type of personality and then change once you get to a certain point in the relationship. Like when you get engaged to them or get married.
Then they really start to show their true colors. Like the guy who all of a sudden is not interested in being nice to your kids. Once he moves into your house.
Or the one who is charming, gentle, and sincere, then gets drunk one night and goes off on you because you made a comment about the femininity of his shirt.
Remember that Julia Roberts movie, Sleeping With the Enemy, where her husband becomes abusive and controlling after they get married? Poor Julia has to learn how to swim, fake her own drowning, and move away to a Midwestern college town to escape him.
But if she had paid more attention to some of her husband's idiosyncrasies before they got married, maybe she wouldn't have had to go through all of that trouble. And she would have been able to let her hand towels hang askew.
Here are 5 warning signs that your partner's personality may not be what you thought it was:
1. They do something completely out of character such as the aforementioned alcohol-infused rage. And they do it a few times.
2. Your woman's intuition is telling you that something is out of sync with them. Something that wasn't that way before.
3. Your partner becomes secretive. He starts to show signs of withdrawal and avoidance. After he has asked you to marry him, met your parents, and helped you pick out the china.
4. After you make a commitment to him, whether it's being exclusive, moving in together, or getting married, he slowly starts to be controlling and/or jealous of others in your life.
5. He starts criticizing you for things that he didn't criticize you before. Your appearance, the way you eat your spaghetti, or the amount of time you spend at work.
Have you had a partner's personality change, for the worse, after you had been together?
Image via Empirically Grounded/Flickr