World's Dumbest Man Is Getting Married

Amy Keyishian
17

deer in the headlightsFor those of you who think stuff from England is automatically classy, I’ve got a doozy of a story for you.

There’s this woman. She’s had 15 kids with her husband. She’s a size 4 and insists it’s easy to keep your house spotless with all those kiddos. But that’s beside the point.

For whatever reason, she dumped her husband and stuck her hooks into an unsuspecting neighbor -- a born-again Christian who got her pregnant on their third date.

And now the guy’s going to marry her.

Honestly, there’s so much wrong with this story, it’s like a giant Lego building of wrong topped with a Duplo of WTF.

Joanne Watson, 39, is also a grandma twice, since her oldest, 21-year-old Natasha, has a 5-year-old (do the math!) and her 18-year-old, Shanice, has a 14-month-old. She appears regularly in the British press as “Supermum.” Last year, at seven months pregnant, she accused husband John of working long hours (really? Because feeding all those mouths is easy?) and drinking heavily (maybe he was trying to kill his sperm).

She had “resigned herself to being a busy single mum” when she chased down an old neighbor, Craig Le Sauvage, who she knew vaguely from when he’d been their neighbor 15 years earlier (when she “only” had four kids). His background is super-sketch, too: he was abused by his mom, who was murdered by his brother. He went through rehab six years ago after a stint in prison for drug possession and theft.

When he found out Joanne was pregnant, Craig said he was shocked and at first wanted her to get an abortion; now he’s all psyched to be Superstepdad and have a kid of his own with the clown-car vagina lady. Of course, he hasn’t moved in with her yet, because even though she’s pregnant, they aren’t yet married -- and that wouldn't be Christian, he says.

The paper calls him “the world’s bravest man.” I call it either “the world’s dumbest dude” or “the world’s fakest story.” And I can’t help wondering if the news media’s attitude would be different if Joanne weren’t blonde, thin, and … well, white.

Was this guy roped into becoming a stepdad? Is this the craziest story you ever heard? Can you imagine being a step-parent to so … many … kids?



Photo via Maveric2003/Flickr


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