What Women Mean When They Say...

Sasha Brown-Worsham

It isn't that women hate British blogger Stephen Fry for saying we hate sex, it's that we're all just a little confused.

How is it that a 53-year-old gay man has any idea what women desire sexually?

Fry got himself into hot water last week when he said that he felt sorry for straight men because women don't enjoy sex and see it only as "the price they are willing to pay for a relationship."

His claims that women don't enjoy sex as much as men are absurd. We probably enjoy it more. It's just that most men aren't doing it right. Just kidding. Kind of.

Here's a clue: We like sex.

We just don't like it the way you do. It takes some time to get us revved up, we need to be seduced, and also, we aren't all the same. One woman might love it with strangers and a million times a week, and another is happy with only one man and once a week. Sorry, guys. You're just going to have to get to know us. But rest assured, few among us actually "hate sex."

It's just that for us, other factors get in the way. Sex feels great, but so does sleep.

Here is a Quick Cheat Sheet to Messages That Do NOT Mean We Hate Sex:  

  • What she says: "I have to get up in the morning."
  • What she means: It's late, I've had a long day, and I probably ... have to get up in the morning. 


  • What she says: "I'm not ready yet."                                           
  • What she means: We haven't known each other that long. I want to sleep with you, but I need time to get to know you first. 


  • What she says: "I have been nursing all day."                                            
  • What she means: I'm touched out, dude. If you can find a way of having sex without touching, go for it!


  • What she says: "I need to wax first."                                          
  • What she means: I need you to tell me you love my body no matter what it looks like, hairy or not.


  • What she says: "We did it last night."                                                       
  • What she means: I love sex, but I'm feeling really satisfied. Thanks, honey.


  • What she says: "It's too messy."                                                                 
  • What she means: Use a condom or pull out. Do something to avoid the mess, especially for morning sex.


  • What she says: "Stop, this is boring."                                                         
  • What she means: Maybe we could try something new for once! Maybe you could go down on me or we could shower together. Think, dude!


  • What she says: "I'm not in the mood."
  • What she means: I'm exhausted and I just don't have a switch you can flip. Try cuddling and holding me, offering a massage, something ELSE intimate.


Not one of these things means we don't like sex. Or you. They just mean that we have busy lives and we likely prioritize sex differently than you do.

Do you like sex as much as your man?

Image via Facebook

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