'Blue Valentine' Controversial Fight Sex Scene: How Bad Is It Really?


Blue ValentineIt came as a shock when the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) announced a while back that Blue Valentine was receiving an NC-17 rating. Now there's confirmation that the filmmakers won't edit to try for the R rating and are appealing the decision.

Everything from advertising to Oscar contention can be negatively affected by the dreaded rating, and producer Jamie Patricof is understandably peeved.

So what's so bad about Blue Valentine and what's got the MPAA all in a tizzy? Unfortunately, they're not forthcoming about the details of their decision, but they pointed to a scene in the film where Ryan Gosling's character wants to have sex with Michelle Williams' character and she doesn't. 

Fighting during sex is apparently a big no-no. Nudity, violence, and rape in a movie are a-okay, but somehow arguing about and during sex crosses the line. 

MPAA, have you never heard of angry sex? What about make-up sex? Or perhaps just unenthusiastic sex?

Sure, happy, enthusiastic, drama-free sex is generally preferable, but the idea of having sex while having a fight isn't exactly unheard of. 

I haven't seen the movie, but if it's as simple as it sounds, then I don't really see the big deal. From what I can gather, he doesn't rape her, it doesn't get violent, and the sex isn't even particularly graphic.

Sex can be intense and dramatic and, yes, sometimes we fight while we're having it. It can mean that an orgasm is pretty much out the window, but it can also be incredibly satisfying, especially for people who enjoy the release it gives them. 

I'll go ahead and admit it: I've fought during sex. We were having sex, something prompted a fight, and we fought for a while before having sex again. And you know what? It was fine. The world didn't explode and our relationship didn't end because of it. Perhaps it's not the healthiest way to deal with issues, but it's nowhere near the unhealthiest way either.

So I say that the MPAA should back off and chill out. If the filmmakers feel Blue Valentine needs that emotional scene, then accept it and realize that there are plenty of other real couples out there who will be able to identify.

Have you ever fought during sex? Do you think this scene in Blue Valentine warrants an NC-17 rating?


Image via Facebook



To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar tyla

I definitely think that if rape (and especially violent rape) doesn't warrant an NC-17 rating, which maybe it should, then this should't either. Of course, I can't judge until I've seen the movie, but it sounds to me like this is a pretty silly move by the MPAA. We're bombarded with violent and/or degrading sexual images all the time. What makes this one so different?

Kelle... KelleyP77

I haven't seen the scene in question, but one of my favorite cable network tv shows is Rescue Me. I remember a particular episode a few seasons back where the couple had this angry fighting-turning-to-sex deal. I figure if cable network television can get away with it with only a TVMA rating then a movie could get away with it with only an R rating.

Jimi Trowell Jr.

my gf and i used to fight all the time during sex.the more we fought the better the sex.the rule was who came first the loner would have to do what the winner wants.

1-3 of 3 comments