My Boyfriend Loves Our Threesome -- But I Don't

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Dear Dating Mom:

I’ve been dating this guy for about 6 months. I really have feelings for him. Problem is he has this girl he’s been friends with for a few years and they are always talking on the phone and sometimes, she will go out with us as well. She's pretty attractive and has even slept on his couch every now and again. I really like him but I’m wondering if I should stick around.

Signed,

Three Is Crowding Me

Dear Three Is Crowding Me:

Funny you should be asking this particular question because I too had the exact same problem when I was dating my then future ex-husband. I vividly remember all the phone calls, all the time she spent with us, and I just hated it when he told me how she was his best friend and what a great human being she was.

Just listening to him say her name over and over again was probably the most intolerable thing for me. It was always, “my mother said this” and “my mother said that” and “one time my mother ...” 

It got so bad that at one point, I informed my own mother that for evermore I would refer to her as either “Dina” or “Woman who birthed me” and that the “M" word was banished from my vocabulary. To this day, I insist that my own daughter either call me “Jessica” or “Almighty One” and on the days that she really pisses me off, “Oh Beautiful Woman Who Gave Me Life.”

So trust me when I say, I know EXACTLY what you’re going through.

I have to admit, however, that since his mother was 30-plus years older than I am, at least I knew I was always going to be younger and better looking. I have no idea what you look like, but it’s never a good thing when an attractive gal is sleeping in your boyfriend’s apartment. I don’t care if she’s on the couch or curled up inside his dishwasher, no good can come from that for you.

Also, you didn’t mention what she wears when she sleeps there. Not that it would matter. If a man is attracted to a woman, she could walk in wearing maternity clothes and a miner’s hat and he’d still be all over her like white on rice. Simply put, I would move on. Actually, correction, I would run.

Maybe your boyfriend is in deep denial or aspires to be a polygamist, but either way, my suggestion is to find a guy who not only makes you his number one priority, but most importantly, has a dead mother.

Are you a single mom with a question about dating/sex/love? Or do you just want to try to trip Jessica up? Leave her a question in comments or you can write to her directly at bernzee@mac.com.


Image via Susan Blood


dating, love, breakups, lying, sex, turn-offs, dating mom